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sean_robbins
sean_robbinsLv210mth
2024-05-23 01:18

the story was generally fine but unfortunately it has a co author and there character/chapter is so hard to read and down right annoying when u can read it! i was so frustrated by it, that i couldn't even get through the 5th chapter!!!

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Saeko_Kaburagi
Saeko_KaburagiAuthor

At least this is an actual criticism

Saeko_Kaburagi
Saeko_KaburagiAuthor

But can you explain what was annoying about it?

Fousan
FousanLv4

You have anything more you can give? Something that might help me improve?

sean_robbins
sean_robbinsLv2

if i had to say anything then i feel like the best would be to slow down? it felt more like u were trying to cram everything in without really explaining anything. like when ur guy first died, i in all honesty can't really tell how! all there is, is he's hammering away, then theres a sword in his heart! i'm guessing there was an explosion or something? but i don't really know?! so yeah it felt like u crammed two or more paragraphs together and left out the contexts!

Fousan:You have anything more you can give? Something that might help me improve?
Fousan
FousanLv4

I didn't really think that to be honest, I'm not used to doing things in first person, and really it was trying to be that.

sean_robbins:if i had to say anything then i feel like the best would be to slow down? it felt more like u were trying to cram everything in without really explaining anything. like when ur guy first died, i in all honesty can't really tell how! all there is, is he's hammering away, then theres a sword in his heart! i'm guessing there was an explosion or something? but i don't really know?! so yeah it felt like u crammed two or more paragraphs together and left out the contexts!
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