The grammar should be improved by a lot, especially with the slow release date and word count story and pace if are alright, at the beginning the aurther tried writing where “1-a” would be like 20 years before the movie, and the “b” would be the actual start of the movie. So it’s very hard to understand what’s going on. I found myself nearly skipping all the “a parts” as there was not story progress there and only flashbacks. The mc is basically Erin Yeager from AOT and even uses the wings of freedom and the idk gear. (Which is stupid to use as the shields the guys use don’t allow fast movement past them, which is what the odm is doing). Also more context instead of statement EX: Inzal finds Harkkonen, Harkkonen die, friend dies too, he sad now, more killing, Astreides help and become friends. There is also some plot holes that I have pointed out and the aurther has not explained them(he is in pain from using somthing like the 6 eye(I think?) but he was also half Kwisatz Haderach so I stead of seeing space and time he only sees space, and so he has all the memories of his ancestors including the group of sisters, which they know how to train a Mentat which would help elevate the pain but he does no such thing at all). All in all it’s pretty good, the beginning is rushed and thes some major plot holes and spelling and grammatical errors, but I believe he could learn from all of it.
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