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Theory18
Theory18Lv49mth
2024-07-24 04:04

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Sergiu_Chirita_3966
Sergiu_Chirita_3966Lv1

The fanfic isn’t bad—I like the main character and the characters that were introduced—but there are also significant flaws, namely the pacing. Everything happens too fast, and there’s a lack of detail. I don’t even know how to explain it, but each chapter covers just one day of the week, and far too little of what happened that day is actually shown. For example, when he removed Mai’s curse through massage, we only got a brief glimpse of their interaction in the first few minutes, and then it immediately skipped to the next day. We didn’t get to see the characters' thoughts, their interactions during the massage, or what happened afterward. Then there’s the situation with Mahiro and Mashiro—it showed them starting to talk after meeting for the first time, and then immediately skipped to the next day, where they were already inseparable. That doesn’t make sense. The author has too many ideas and tries to cram too many of them into a short timeframe. For example, the group chat—it was introduced, ignored for several chapters, then briefly mentioned again when he greeted everyone, only to be forgotten for multiple chapters afterward. Another small example: during a mission in another world, he told the characters that in his world, they were anime characters. I don’t mind this since it would be silly to hide it when they could just come to his world through the group chat and see for themselves. At the time, they even asked him to give them a copy of the anime so they’d know what to expect in the future and see what it was all about. But after the mission, this was never brought up again—as if he completely forgot about it. And for dozens of chapters afterward, the group chat itself wasn’t even mentioned. Small details like showing them their own anime are missing. For instance, he could have downloaded the anime on his phone and shared it with them, but such moments weren’t even hinted at. It would be great if the author could rewrite this fanfic, adding more details and deeper character interactions.

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Kyōsuke got reincarnated into the world of Naruto in the Warring States period and became an ordinary member of the Uchiha clan. At this time, Uchiha Madara was still just a teenager, the God of Shinobi was still pondering how to make World Peace, Black Zetsu was plotting how to split the moon to save his mother, and the enigmatic Jigen was quietly chanting sutras in a secluded temple. The young Kyōsuke stepped onto the battlefield, but fortunately, he awakened a Point Redemption System, allowing him to trade points earned by killing enemies for various abilities. [Tenseigan, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Divine Tree Seed, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Truth-Seeking Orbs, SSS-level ability, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Yamotsu Hirasaka, SS-level ability, requires 100,000 points to exchange.] Uchiha Madara: "Kyōsuke, you and I as brothers can surely annihilate the Senju Clan together!" Senju Hashirama: "My friend, let’s realize the dream of building Konoha Village together!" Black Zutsu: "Help me save my mother!" Uzumaki Mito: "You promised to marry me—are you trying to go back on your word?" Otsutsuki Kaguya: "This is bad! The clan’s law enforcement team is here. Kyōsuke, defend against them with me!" Otsutsuki Isshiki: "Impossible! How do you know my unique eye technique?!" Uchiha Kyōsuke: "Impossible? Please, I can even hit the moon!" ——————————————————— This is a Translation Raw: 火影:关于我兄弟是斑爷这档事 Author: 闲者阿七 Support me on Patreon to read 20+ Chapters Ahead https://www.patreon.com/Night_FrOst

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4.5
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