Review Detail of Mel0n_Pan in Transmigrated into the World of Frieren

hi thanks for sharing your fanfic here. its rare to have frieren SI/OC fanfic especially the one without breaking character integrity. i've read many frieren SI/OC both western or japanese fanfic, but many of those fic have frieren who act out of character. anyway i will list what i find in this fic unacceptable in my opinion here : 1. MC demon magic aptitude is faster than human. this is lorebreaking because in frieren world, human have high aptitude of magic and mana growth compare to demon and elf but they have short life. thats why framme can be stronger than elf despite her short life compare to serie. 2. story pacing is too fast. in one chapter a group adventurer want to kill MC, in next chapter they become family. in one chapter frieren want to kill MC, in next chapter they become buddy. at least makes 3 or more encounter/events before makes frieren trust demon MC. in this case, frieren kinda out of character. 3. i suggest you plan the story frame and allocate events bit by bit instead of dumping everything in the early chapters. in this fic, it took just 18 chapters to make MC can do anything and everything. he do a lot of stuff like flying and fireworks. he makes reality marble. have you any plan what he is going to do in the future? you will ran out of idea fast if you let him do everything this early. 4. any reason MC is demon? if MC going to posing as human, might as well have human MC instead. it will more lore accurate than having demon mc traveling with frieren. there is no point of MC being demon if he just posing human and traveling with human anyway. it will be interesting if demon MC and he travel or living with demon society tho, see how MC adapt to demon society. but no, MC is just living human life. anyway i suggest you rewrite to either writing demon mc living demon life or human mc traveling with frieren. human mc and frieren love story would be interesting just like how aragorn and arwen in lord of the ring. but if you want mc human have longevity, you can have him curse like become vampire, undead, werebeast, weredemon, or experimented human. cursed MC human looking for magic to lift the curse would be interesting. hope this help

thanks for your answers. i have a question if you dont mind. MC is human reincarnated in demon body right? whats the reason for MC wanting to save demon race when he just want to live as human? demon is heartless beast, and MC have no previous experience of receiving kindness from demon. why he want to saved demon when the burden of saving demon is huge? its almost impossible and the manga clearly state that demon is heartless beast pretend human? i get it if MC is want to create world peace saving stranger but why saving heartless beast who eat and kill human without remorse when MC himself is human want to life as normal human? its like you suddenly want to save alien who kill human

i see no answer. my parting advice is for you author to start adding reason and drive on whatever mc going to do. good bye