Review Detail of Albinus_istamar in Football-Ballon d'or or die [Gacha System]

My honest review, you have a very good style, especially for the dialogues, they are fluid and believable (more than mine I'm afraid), good grammar and the general style is easy to read, pleasant, without long paragraphs or unnecessary descriptions. However, in the development of the story there is a lack of bait to hook the reader. Beyond the introduction of the character, the first chapters have the reader a little lost as to where the story is going. Likewise, since they are well written, I recommend that you make a prologue with the important moment or the twist that keeps the reader's attention.