Writing this and im not even through chapter 62 but so far very interesting plot line and build up. Random encounters happen early with short build up. Story and conversations play out like a script rather then a novel but its understandable/legible. The world itself and side characters could use a bit more intro build up but its still the early stages. As long as the main character and plot isnt rushed too much it is looking like a great potential. Writing mistakes and grammar could use some review edit before posting but not as bad as many othrr novels out there.
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LIKEI have one thing to add to the style that would help with flow. When doing dialogue, put it in quotations. Such as: Albion: “that was amazing Eve” It makes it easier to read and follow because the dialogue is very clearly outlined as such. Instaed of wondering some times.
Thank you! Reading that I do see how that would help clearly show what's being said instead of just relying on the name at the beginning. It may be a lot harder to see whats being said when the speech is longer. I'll try and work on implementing that. Though when it comes to a schedule I'm very busy. So I'll try and include in by rewriting. But it may just be advice I use in different works. Thank you so much!
No problem bro