webnovel
jeanofarc
jeanofarcLv21yr
2024-02-14 20:00

This novel is good so far, I can understand and visualize the scenes clearly. I read the synopsis and despite the short length, the story is fairly simple to follow and read. I like the idea of arranged marriage and how it can negatively impact the relationships between families and friends around. My only complaints I guess would be about the dialogue and splitting of scenes, along with backstories. Have you tried making a timeline of past events? Writing flashback scenes can be quite difficult, so if you aren’t a professional or an expert I suggest narrating everything from the beginning instead of inserting a random flashback scene of Camille and Neil falling in love. The dialogue also seems inauthentic in a way where the sentences are too detailed in terms of word choice. I suggest breaking down your dialogue into shorter sentences. Make as many sentences as possible but ensure that they aren’t too long, otherwise your characters may not feel like real people speaking. Anyways, those are the only weaknesses I can spot so far. The rest is good, I like the presence of emotions within the characters that I can visibly distinguish who is speaking. Romance, bad boys, and angels aren’t really my type of thing, but based on me reading your novels I can distinguish your style and taste that it stands out for me. Keep it up! And if you have any concerns, feel free to message me in the forums or on the server. All the best!

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