Item: Welcome to the team Ace of the Ruined World (stopped for now)
Rating: 2.8
Author: OdinNeverSmile

OdinNeverSmileLv148mth

2024-04-14 01:49

the Idea is good and with Charakters and such but the main Propblem is, every Charakter feels like a robott in the way the writing is with a bit Element of "BIG LOL RANDOM" where the structure of the storys doesn't feel thinked out much, this feel more like a sketch movie script then anything else. I would recommend the Autor to try improving thier writing skill espcilly describing How people interreact and thought patterns and how they talk to each other. The Reader does not know how the Charakters came to the conlusion how to do stuff or thier plans, and another point the same with each other Charakter and the MC is thier own reactions in individuell thoughts to the Situation or such. i want to say more but i think that would be to much.

Welcome to the team Ace of the Ruined World (stopped for now)

m_42

Not enough ratings

15 Chs

Liked it!

Replies3

m_42Author

Sorry the story was rushed because of some real-life problems like my studies and work and still I have to study for my final exams [ So Sorry ]

8mth

OdinNeverSmileLv14

thats okey but then just write ur ideas done somewhere and wait until you have time to flash them out and then post them, becouse my review is still on point with the current state of this FanFic, and i could say the same about your other Works as well and i hope in the future you improve your writing skill.

m_42:Sorry the story was rushed because of some real-life problems like my studies and work and still I have to study for my final exams [ So Sorry ]

8mth

m_42Author

thank you

OdinNeverSmile:thats okey but then just write ur ideas done somewhere and wait until you have time to flash them out and then post them, becouse my review is still on point with the current state of this FanFic, and i could say the same about your other Works as well and i hope in the future you improve your writing skill.

8mth

Other Reviews

pejuchristiana7Lv3

I love how straight toward the explanations were I didn't even get bored good job

1yr

CrytachLv14

... it's a dumpster fire of confusion ... the story makes no sense, the wishes are senseless. the character is a Mary sue that's learnt nothing but the magic of jazz hands

9mth

sura_ahmedLv1

good find but is he going to drop this too

1yr

Minecraft: loading new world

Welcome to Minecraft, a world of blocks and endless adventures at your fingertips. ___________________ What would our Main Character do once he realized the he is in a video game with different logic from his own world. Will he try to get back? Will the Viligers keep him away from the arms of loneliness? Or will he die in the first night to zombies? Let's follow him to find out about his adventures in another world, in another life. __________________ The book is about a Man who woke up in the world of Minecraft, but not the Vanilla Minecraft, this world has a system, and some things may be changed in comparison with the original, the world is corrupted, so once a year a player is brought into the world that further corrupts the world.

EnderStar · Video Games

4.5

217 Chs

Time Effect ( A Mass Effect Fanfiction)

A man is reincarnated in the Mass Effect Universe. At first, he was kinda scared about the possibility of dying to the Reapers, or other dangers across the huge galaxy. But, he persevered and, after making friends with Shepard and the crew, won the final battle. He was happy and thrilled about the possibilities of his new life after the war. But, on the day he turned 28 years old, he returned back in time, to when he was a baby. He was confused and mortified by the weird situation, but, our MC didn't let that shake his confidence. So, he tackled the plot of the game once more. But, again, after he turned 28, he returned in time. He finally had to admit to himself he was trapped in some sort of time loop but decided to continue ahead with his life(s). The problem was, this didn't happen just once. 2 times, 3 times, 4 times, 5 times... 9 times. It slowly changed him, to the point he lost the will to try after a few cycles. He realized what he was doing was meaningless, because no matter what he did, the changes he made, nothing mattered, as he would be thrown back in time anyway. So, he deviated from the plot and started to study a variety of things and he didn't care about the fate of the galaxy anymore. In those subsequent loops, he managed to become a master/expert in a lot of things, but the time loop never changed, and the MC started to lose hope of living a normal life. But, after the 9 loop, he felt something different from the other cycles! Perhaps this is his final one? Follow along and watch our MC conquer the whole galaxy, fighting the dangers inside it, and possibly getting a few girls along the way! --- Release schedule: 3 chapters a week (Monday, Wednesday and Saturday), as long as I have enough chapters in stock. Otherwise, 2 chapters per week (Wednesday and Saturday) Minimum of 1,500 words per chapter --- I do not own any of the characters I found the Image on the internet Also posted on RR and SH --- This is a fanfic written by a newbie, so there will be various grammar errors scattered across it. So please, bear with me!

Pop0 · Video Games

4.5

132 Chs

Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale

A bitter old man gets tossed into the world of Tamriel, as a descendant of a religious madman no less, watch as he delves into the secrets of magic and explores the wonders of this danger-filled world, and with luck and a lot of magic juice possibly even beyond. This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic (or anything for that matter). English is not my native language but I think there shouldn't be too many mistakes. The story will focus on magic and exploration with most likely a bit of romance later on. The upload schedule won't be rigid, but expect five chapters a week. If you want to support me financially and get access to early chapters visit patreon.com/Rastislav156

Rastislav · Video Games

4.7

407 Chs

Overwatch High

Scott Snow attends Overwatch High where the cast of Overwatch teaches classes for no real legitimate reason other than providing fetish fuel for sexual fantasies. Watch as he goes through a bevy of classes taught by the lovely (and usually horny) ladies of Overwatch, and catches them sometimes with their pants down. The Original version. Straight from Hentai Foundry and Questionable Questing

SnowWolf35 · Video Games

Not enough ratings

178 Chs

Cyberpunk: XYZ

I am shattered, three in one, the main personality X, then the shattered pieces Y, and Z... If I am already broken, then is the world I found myself in even real? Am I imagining things? It feels real, this neon-lit metropolis ruled by corporate overlords and plagued by rogue sentient AIs that threaten humanity’s survival... Even saying it, I feel insane, the shadows beside me don't make it any easier.

VQuintessence · Video Games

4.9

49 Chs

Let's play Minecraft in a world of Swords and Spells

Illustration for the characters and location are in my Patreon. ================= Dying from a heart attack when playing Minecraft was definitely not the way I thought I would die. Being reincarnated afterward was also not what I thought would happen. But I guess having another chance at life is a great thing! Now, how am I going to live in this world of Swords and Spells?

Zaztra_Vandesh · Video Games

4.9

143 Chs

Genshin Impact's Incense Burner Of Liyue.

"Speaking of which, who says Liyue people have to work hard to earn Mora? Isn't living a laid-back life enjoyable?" Gu Sanqiu expresses that after just crossing over, he already has a big house in Feiyun Slope, and even holds an official position. His life is already quite fulfilling. This book's alternate titles include "The True Master of Being a Slacker," "The Luckiest Master Who Wins by Doing Nothing," "The Buff Guy Who Ignores Jade Chamber's Snowfall," and "About the Qixing Wanting to Make Me Work Overtime Like Crazy"... --- Updates: Mon-Sat To Unlock Bonus Chapters: Reach 30/40/50/100/200/400 Power Stones! 6 Extra Chapters! Reach 800 Power Stones to activate NP! Resets Weekly! [Monday] --- Disclaimer: All rights to the original content belong to their respective creators. Original Name: 原神之璃月奉香人 Author: 淡白蛋清 --- Advanced Chapters! [patreon.com/WiseTL]

WiseTL · Video Games

Not enough ratings

193 Chs

Starsea Fleet: Age of the Lord

In the grand interstellar age, countless civilizations await your conquest. Genetic serums, interstellar warships, and star mechas... Feng Mo, a transmigrator, finds himself as the heir of a declining noble family in this era of cosmic expansion. With barren lands, scarce resources, and a fleet of battered starships, he is left with a massive mess to clean up. But if he wants something, he'll just have to build it himself! Titan-class Dreadnoughts, interstellar battleships, star cruisers, interstellar destroyers, and frigates... He will traverse the stars and become the greatest Starsea Lord!

KingTL · Video Games

Not enough ratings

180 Chs