The story idea and the grammar were excellent and I couldn't find any mistakes in that. The problem with this fanfic is the fact the author simply posts chapters without checking them first, many times there are discrepancies in the chapters. Sometimes his agility is 24 but in the next chapter it only drops to 20. The previous chapter the MC says he's going to go right and then suddenly the next chapter he goes left, without any explanation... This is way too disrespectful on the author part!
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