webnovel
Emu_Lator
Emu_LatorLv13mth
2024-12-23 14:56

First, the author's first language isnt english i think. Because theres a lot of grammar problems that would make you think 'even english speaking kids have better grammar'. So im assuming the author is still learning english. Second, please learn to use proper punctuations like commas and periods. In the first chapters, it gets hard to understand when you dont know when sentences end or begin anew. By chapter 17 the author uses some but i dont think it was proper use. Some cases it is overused. At least it looks like he or she is learning. Third, the author likes to skip reaction conversations. Like when showing daphne the ROR, author just narrates the events. Which is a shame considering the reactions of characters are the seasoning so to speak. And endless narrations simply make the story extremely boring so i found myself taking a nap after reading this fic. Author needs to add conversations between characters and reactions. Endless narrations are just plain bland and boring.

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