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jasenko0
jasenko0Lv51yr
2023-12-26 20:05

good story but:1. needs a editor ASAP2. less 11/12 yearolds kissing and sleeping around

Harry Potter: An Exception Side Character

Soulderean
3.2
30 Chs

Liked it!

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Replies1
Soulderean
SouldereanAuthor

Yes i understand your reasoning but look from two mature individuals perspective Solaris is mature due to his reincarnate soul and Daphne due to her family remember not all families are Malfoy you know some actually start to teach their children from a young age about everything. in daphne case she represents the house Greengrass as the heiress of a notable family she is nurture to be this mature .

1yr
Other Reviews
Dustin_King_an_nu
Dustin_King_an_nuLv13

I don't like how op the mc is such a young age

1yr

Phoniex158
Phoniex158Lv14

I haven't even finished the first chapter yet, but I have liked the story so far. It seemed like it was going to be an overpowered main character from the start, which I wouldn't have minded, but it was the spelling and grammar that got to me. I can't read a story that hasn't been edited or at least double-checked for mistakes. It makes it so hard to read, and I just end up dropping it even if I was enjoying the story minus the mistakes.

1yr
DEvz29
DEvz29Lv4

Writing is a hard task trust me I tried and so I really shouldn't say much. But the MC got OP too quickly and the grammar and spelling is bad

1yr
Tim_QQQ
Tim_QQQLv1

grammar is pretty bad, but not horrendously terrible. the main issue is the story and characters. ok so the mc... before the age of 11 (so b4 he even steps into hogwarts) the mc is the best healer in the world (Dumbledore's words) and has healed both of nevlles parents and astora greengrasses blood curse. also, he is already newt level in basically every hogwarts class. he also has an arranged marrage with daphne, and her like of him primarily comes from him saving her sister. btw i havent read past chapter 5... this is all b4 chapter 5. its just nonsense.

1yr
Alax_Gecko
Alax_GeckoLv4

Sorry mate. I tried to read as much as I can but I have failed. The cringe is to much. If you asked which part is cringe, let me tell you. The moment he start to use his powers wili nili. Like popcorn but with cement and you try to eat it with air as the utensil. It's just to much to bear. TBH with you, I don't have any problem with synopsis writing style of story telling. Believe me I have read 'Harry Potter and the true Wizarding World'. The author of that story write that same way. But, the way you handle your storytelling is just cringe to me. So, I am sorry. But, have this 5-star for effort. The base for your story I good tho. And I respect that. Just work in your delivery and your writing style.

1yr
Sami_Alfoheday
Sami_AlfohedayLv14

good start continue the good work you have my support

1yr
Emu_Lator
Emu_LatorLv1

First, the author's first language isnt english i think. Because theres a lot of grammar problems that would make you think 'even english speaking kids have better grammar'. So im assuming the author is still learning english. Second, please learn to use proper punctuations like commas and periods. In the first chapters, it gets hard to understand when you dont know when sentences end or begin anew. By chapter 17 the author uses some but i dont think it was proper use. Some cases it is overused. At least it looks like he or she is learning. Third, the author likes to skip reaction conversations. Like when showing daphne the ROR, author just narrates the events. Which is a shame considering the reactions of characters are the seasoning so to speak. And endless narrations simply make the story extremely boring so i found myself taking a nap after reading this fic. Author needs to add conversations between characters and reactions. Endless narrations are just plain bland and boring.

12d
behind_your_sister
behind_your_sisterLv4

poisonus

9mth
Braisetank
BraisetankLv14

The writing get better as the story continue. Continue the good work [img=update][img=recommend]

1yr
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