Review Detail of Toseeb_Qais in HP: Magic Punk

Item: HP: Magic Punk
Rating: 3

Review detail

Toseeb_QaisLv45mthToseeb_Qais

The tag states there is a system but there has been no evidence of this yet.

HP: Magic Punk

kamidemond

Liked by 2 people

Replies3

kamidemondAuthorkamidemond

well merlin is his system I just try to made him organic

5mth

QuiteSarcasticLv4QuiteSarcastic

An additional person inside the MC's head... I doubt System is the word you are looking for here. Try DID instead. Dissociative Identity Disorder with a personality that wants the MC to avoid learning anything due to the plot. -It's not criticism, just observations after reading 30 or so chapters without finding any improvement except grammar.

kamidemond:well merlin is his system I just try to made him organic

4mth

kamidemondAuthorkamidemond

you are the first who will saying my grammar improved.

QuiteSarcastic:An additional person inside the MC's head... I doubt System is the word you are looking for here. Try DID instead. Dissociative Identity Disorder with a personality that wants the MC to avoid learning anything due to the plot. -It's not criticism, just observations after reading 30 or so chapters without finding any improvement except grammar.

4mth