Writing quality is good. There are not many mistakes. It's just that, it has Way too much drama. Personally, I don't mind much. But if all the chapters are like this then it might be hard to continue reading. Also, the system is kinda confusing. I didn't know which one is system notification. And why does the MC talk with the system so much! Dose he have a mental problem lol. You( Author ) could write the system notification like this: [ Daily quests: Running=0/100, Sit up=0/100 ] like. Just add a [ ] in the notification that the system give. It will make it more enjoyable.
Liked by 20 people
LIKE
Thanks for the suggestion, I will edit System speech. Also, MC do have a "quirk" as he grew up alone, with no one to talk to, he has habit of talking to himself and now to system. That is one of the character traits I am using in this nove. As for Drama part, it was only at the beginning. The novel take off from here on.
One more thing, isn't this a Gamer System fanfic? Why didn't you give him [ Gamers Mind ] and [ Gamers Body ] or a lesser version of it? It will make it more of a Gamer System. Also, could you please edit the previous chapters where there is any system notification! Especially, the pare where the MC's starts are shown. If you can't then don't worry about it. It just my personal request.
TheFanficGod:Thanks for the suggestion, I will edit System speech. Also, MC do have a "quirk" as he grew up alone, with no one to talk to, he has habit of talking to himself and now to system. That is one of the character traits I am using in this nove. As for Drama part, it was only at the beginning. The novel take off from here on.
Gamer Mind kills all character development and Gamer Body is kinda boring. I thought about them and decided to not to use. It destroys all sorts of emotions, which I plan to use a lot. I will edit chapters.
Arnab_Panday:One more thing, isn't this a Gamer System fanfic? Why didn't you give him [ Gamers Mind ] and [ Gamers Body ] or a lesser version of it? It will make it more of a Gamer System. Also, could you please edit the previous chapters where there is any system notification! Especially, the pare where the MC's starts are shown. If you can't then don't worry about it. It just my personal request.image
Nah, I don't like that either. No NTR or anything like that.
The content has been deleted
.... it doesn't reduce emotions the original gamers mind just forces them to be calm during critical moments most fanfics for some reason don't understand that or chose not to use the original even in the webtoon the gamer the mc shows emotions occasionally although it's kinda hard to tell with his normal attitude being rather casual to begin with there are scenes where he is rather surprised in the webtoon though which is easier to notice than some other emotions
TheFanficGod:Gamer Mind kills all character development and Gamer Body is kinda boring. I thought about them and decided to not to use. It destroys all sorts of emotions, which I plan to use a lot. I will edit chapters.
also just in case you assume I'm complaining on my previous reply I'll say that's not the case i just wanted to correct your misperception about the ability of the gamer's mind as for you not using it I don't particularly care either way it's your book after all that said not using the gamers body is a choice i found odd since in the shinobi world a type of ability that helps with survival seems like it'd be better to have than not but then again you ultimately decide what happens to the MC as the author so you naturally know if he'd need it or not anyways
TheFanficGod:Gamer Mind kills all character development and Gamer Body is kinda boring. I thought about them and decided to not to use. It destroys all sorts of emotions, which I plan to use a lot. I will edit chapters.
Thank you for the info. I want to follow action has consequences in my fanfictions all the time, that is why I change plot, as smallest action cause big impacts, thus having emotional breakdown in most stressful moments harden the character, allowing them to grow emotionally. True that Gamer body and mind are big aspect of Gamer Genre, in my opinion, makes it harder to narrate a fiction. Should be easier in drawing, as it can represent such abilities better.
killersoul:.... it doesn't reduce emotions the original gamers mind just forces them to be calm during critical moments most fanfics for some reason don't understand that or chose not to use the original even in the webtoon the gamer the mc shows emotions occasionally although it's kinda hard to tell with his normal attitude being rather casual to begin with there are scenes where he is rather surprised in the webtoon though which is easier to notice than some other emotions
Nah, don't worry. Thank you for the feedback!
killersoul:also just in case you assume I'm complaining on my previous reply I'll say that's not the case i just wanted to correct your misperception about the ability of the gamer's mind as for you not using it I don't particularly care either way it's your book after all that said not using the gamers body is a choice i found odd since in the shinobi world a type of ability that helps with survival seems like it'd be better to have than not but then again you ultimately decide what happens to the MC as the author so you naturally know if he'd need it or not anyways
hmm yea I've seen some other authors struggle with how to deal with the emotions with the gamers mind ability in fact most who I've seen use it well are just op wish fulfillment type probably simply because those don't have to worry about including emotional struggles into their books also I'd like to remind you that emotional and physical harm aren't the only way to make your MC face consequences you can harm his financial or political interest and such too otherwise readers will often complain about books with too much emotional drama myself included to a lesser degree but I understand that for some books some amount of drama is needed and as such as long as it's not over done then it is what it is
TheFanficGod:Thank you for the info. I want to follow action has consequences in my fanfictions all the time, that is why I change plot, as smallest action cause big impacts, thus having emotional breakdown in most stressful moments harden the character, allowing them to grow emotionally. True that Gamer body and mind are big aspect of Gamer Genre, in my opinion, makes it harder to narrate a fiction. Should be easier in drawing, as it can represent such abilities better.
It will be explained in the future chapters, but I also detailed Genjutsu and partly focus on that, and part of it are related to emotions. Another reason why I haven't went with Gamer Body/Mind to be honest. Well, hopefully I balanced emotional scenes. Any further feedback is much appreciated.
killersoul:hmm yea I've seen some other authors struggle with how to deal with the emotions with the gamers mind ability in fact most who I've seen use it well are just op wish fulfillment type probably simply because those don't have to worry about including emotional struggles into their books also I'd like to remind you that emotional and physical harm aren't the only way to make your MC face consequences you can harm his financial or political interest and such too otherwise readers will often complain about books with too much emotional drama myself included to a lesser degree but I understand that for some books some amount of drama is needed and as such as long as it's not over done then it is what it is
You still didn't edited the part that I suggested. Sigh~, oh well. This is you fanfic who am I to give you suggestion.
TheFanficGod:It will be explained in the future chapters, but I also detailed Genjutsu and partly focus on that, and part of it are related to emotions. Another reason why I haven't went with Gamer Body/Mind to be honest. Well, hopefully I balanced emotional scenes. Any further feedback is much appreciated.
Edited upcoming chapters, but haven't backtracked yet. I had a busy week. I will fix them.
Arnab_Panday:You still didn't edited the part that I suggested. Sigh~, oh well. This is you fanfic who am I to give you suggestion.
did you already decide on the pairing? harem or not?
TheFanficGod:Edited upcoming chapters, but haven't backtracked yet. I had a busy week. I will fix them.
Have you decided if its Harem or not? The Tag is still there so I assume its Harem End game?
TheFanficGod:Thanks for the suggestion, I will edit System speech. Also, MC do have a "quirk" as he grew up alone, with no one to talk to, he has habit of talking to himself and now to system. That is one of the character traits I am using in this nove. As for Drama part, it was only at the beginning. The novel take off from here on.
Yes. The novel ends with Harem.
JRCaste:Have you decided if its Harem or not? The Tag is still there so I assume its Harem End game?
TheFanficGod:Yes. The novel ends with Harem.
