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books_n_coffee
books_n_coffeeLv41yr
2024-02-24 20:01

This is one of the most frustrating stories I have ever read. The idea is magnificent and so far (chapter 30) the mystery is unravelling nicely.But... English is obviously not the writer's first language so much praise is due for the ability to express such a complicated plot at all. However writing in the first person for different characters (even with the addition of a name at the beginning of a chapter is not ideal) causes confusion - even to the writer, it seems.There is repetition of descriptions of characters which honestly seems like a ploy to reach the required number of words in a chapter, as well as a "last chapter we read" paragraph at the beginning of a new one, which to be honest is pretty unnecessary.The plot itself is thrilling and confusionary- when the writing echoes it it can be too much. This book would definitely benefit from an editor or proof reader.fingers crossed

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Reveries_
Reveries_Author

🥰😂😂When I finish writing the page, it does not accept it because the word count is 1500. I'm trying to complete these words because I can't send them. 💓💓 I liked your criticism[img=Mad][img=Mad][img=Mad]

Other Reviews
Vervainiasi
VervainiasiLv15

After reading all the available chapters, I can say the author has a good vision and development for this world. It's an interesting story, though the pacing is a bit unstable. We tend to jump from one point to another without ever really concluding anything. We get a breakfast scene with a fight, followed by a kissing scene that was 3 days later? Then a torture interrogation, I'm not sure where exactly it is in the timeline but the torture interrogation is sprinkled throughout. Then some exposition about witches. What is our FL doing? No idea sleeping and sobbing I suppose. She doesn't seem to do much to try and work through her situation. I get the shock, denial, and confusion, but it's been a while and some of the processing should be done. I'm not asking for much just some progress for our FL. I do enjoy the characters although I wish the author would put the descriptions either in the comments or the author's notes since putting them in the chapter just runs up the word count and cost. However, there is a glaring issue with the lack of proofreading before being published. Words are misspelled, characters are misnamed, sentences are repeated, and phrases that are used are clunky. I was considering reporting all of the mistakes but that would honestly take up more time than just reading the novel. I do enjoy the world and mysteries being uncovered.Overall, I am ambivalent about our FL as she seems kind of useless for everything except crying and picking fights. The ML seems interesting, as does the rest of the cast. I look forward to their stories gradually being revealed. I assume this is the authors' first work since there are so many ideas expressed in such a short time, rather than gradually being revealed as their own independent arc. It's a good concept, I just hope for some streamlining, and proofreading in the future. I look forward to what the Author does in the future.

JesReadin
JesReadinLv15
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