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Aztec_Azazel
Aztec_AzazelLv131yr
2024-03-27 00:17

writing is good story development is not good, you try to imitate Han jue but your MC is subpar, the decisions he makes are not good, 1st why not hide your face?, 2nd why reveal your name ? 3rd why join that third rate sect with bad karma at all, though he said he wanted connections why not go pick some orphans and raise them atleast they will be royal to you even though there's a chance of betrayal, Han Jue was cautious but he knew how to enjoy a good woman, as a man you should aspire to have a good woman, but i bet your MC will remain a virgin til the end of times. Am really disappointed because your novel has a good potential,.

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DaoUltimateSage
DaoUltimateSageAuthor

Well, it's my first time writing a novel so there are bound to be a lot of mistakes. But I'm really grateful for your honest review and that you pointed them out, I'll try to do better in the future. As for the last sentence, we'll have to wait for that!

Other Reviews
Darkarcanum
DarkarcanumLv15

OK, I've read 185 chapters and have a pretty solid grasp of the story. I'll rate 5 stars, but will also provide some feedback. Pro's: Compelling story, makes you want to keep reading. Feels authentic to the Chinese style. Author keeps track of his characters and events and few plot holes I saw. Mostly decent grammar and isn't annoying to read for a native English speaker like many novels on here are. No Curse Book that solves everything without any effort (so far). Feedback: Somewhat shallow character interaction, a particular disciple is said to feel extremely close to MC more than their own father, but it feels unearned because we don't see any bonding scenes and relevant events that make such a staggering statement feel justified. Character emotional development can't happen off-screen or we the readers won't care about them and will feel like their relationships don't feel real. No romance (yet) - I get it, MC is busy cultivating, but won't he always be busy cultivating until the end of the story when he is The Supreme Creator God or whatever? If you're going to do it, then find a way to make it happen. Also make sure we get the proper emotion building to go with it, better to have no romance than 1 dimensional romance imo. For the future: One of the great limitations of TTP is how reliant on the System Han Jue was, the more you read the more you realised that the System was basically the MC with a Han Jue attached - the System was so ridiculously overpowered that a pig could have been the host and would have done just fine. Make sure that the MC stays front and centre, makes plans intelligently and acts based on human wants, needs and desires, otherwise just watching a System give out endless Deus Ex Machina type treasures that happen to solve all his problems just when he needs them gets old and is not conducive to a healthy novel long term. OK, that's all I can think of for now, you're a good writer, keep it up.

Daoistwaterdrop
DaoistwaterdropLv14
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