AbsoluteDegeneracyLv39mth

2024-03-01 18:08

I made it to chapter 49, and well, some annoyances. My first problem with the story is how repetitive the intimate scenes with the harem members are. All of the girls, for the most part, lose their individuality during the intimate scenes and they all turn into a generic begging dog. All of the "first time" chapters for the girls are almost exactly the same in routine, giving the feeling that the protagonist is just going through the motions. This is the same feeling that I am getting from most of the intimate scenes recently. There needs to be uniqueness in conversation, dirty-talk, and the "order of operation". Make the girls feel like a they aren't all clones of a generic soulless doll. Too much intimacy. Surprisingly this is a thing. With the repetitive writing throughout the first 49 chapters, I am getting bored of reading the same thing constantly. This would not be such an issue if at the same time the women in the harem showed individual characteristics, however it seems like they all act the exact same in these scenes, say similar things, and have a lack of IQ. It can't be fun to write about our MC banging a blowup doll with a voice-box that only has 10 lines it says. Cringe. A lot of things the MC says is rough. Some is alright. Some may be necessary to get the point across about the MC's character, but to the point where he says some variations of "I love you too, I loved you since i first saw you," to every heroine? That is the tip of the cringe-iceberg. If the MC wasn't a wannabe shonen protagonist screaming, "take it all inside you" five times a chapter like he just had a plot-armor power-up, i would be more eager to read. -Return the heroines IQ (can still 'love' mc even if they have a brain) -Slow down on the cringe (no tips just do it) -Spice it up (I don't want to read the protagonist and the heroine using the same positions in the same order moaning the same words at each-other each intimate scene) -If you don't spice it up, cut down on the 18+ (so spice it up) {This is an 18+ work. Give the heroines and mc a real relationship and individuality. They shouldn't all act like the same screaming dog in bed.}

DxD: The story? No, my goal is to f*ck them all!

Bloodnight

4.3

242 Chs