Review Detail of Laziest_Pillow in Banished From My Village And Mated To The Cursed Heir And His Brothers
Review detail
Took time to finish it (The free chapters at least) but here I am. Overall y our writing style is good, but sometimes there are some issues I dislike, the one being when you forgot the name of Marcellus' father (I don't blame you, I too forgot his name!) and put a place holder there... but it will be fixed soon so it will no longer be an issue. The story's pace is a little too slow for my tastes but is enjoyable all the same. This ties in with another thing I noticed, while the background making is good, it becomes just a little confusing when it ties in with political things, character development, and the introduction of new characters like the twins that attacked Gunther in the festival. About the characters, I find Yuè underwhelming when it comes to most things, he is too passive and honestly, weak-spirited for my tastes. It is not an issue most of the time because there are MCs that go from weak to strong in a rather smooth and natural manner, but I don't get this feeling from Yuè, in my opinion, his lack of drive and rather passiveness are problematic. His motivation can be boiled down to "Help Marcellus, be with Gunther and Emery", he feels less of a character and more of a drama plot object. Explaining it better: His sole existence feels like he is standing there to cause drama and work out the romance. I know, it is a romance story but it feels a little rushed the romance, I'm a slow-burn appreciator, so his interactions with Gunther feel... rather forced. Gunther didn't know virginity and whatnot a few chapters ago, and yet he and Yuè were together just a few chapters afterward, and dirty talking too. It feels a little rushed in my opinion. The thing with Edgar too but it doesn't concern the majority of the story right now so it doesn't matter in the slightest. I can't help but feel like Yuè has some kind of Stockholm syndrome because those guys, in practice, are just a little better than Edgar and he is put in danger all the same, I dare to say even more. And except for Gunther who is a little forceful, and Emery who is reasonable, I say that there are few reasons for Yuè, realistically, to stay with the family, but this is a me thing. There wouldn't be a story if Yuè went away, so the validity of this nitpicking is questionable at best, and irrelevant at worst. I'm not a fan of the character design but you went to some lengths to get images for them, so it is a good point on its own when I take into account the practical side, and a map made in such detail is a rare thing too, adding more depth and weight to the World Background and building. I say this story has potential, although it is more drama and character-driven than plot and world-driven story. Side stories focusing on the wider world and culture will be interesting, to say the least. I finish my review here, goodbye and Godspeed on your writing and endeavors. As an additional note, you were posting every day until six days before I posted this review, I think it is just a slower week or something like that for you, thus far the update rate is very good.
Banished From My Village And Mated To The Cursed Heir And His Brothers
TheLastRemnants
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I feel like several of your critiques would have been different had you read a few more chapters. You do make a few good points (like forgetting names) but some of those points (such as the relationship with Gunter) has plot behind it and reason. You’ve articulated pretty well on just about everything with the exception of the character design. What don’t you like exactly? Why do you find the tie in of the politics confusing? Why do you feel the plot is slow?
Design is more of taste, there is nothing wrong with it besides my personal tastes, I like more anime-esque style for characters because anime culture spoiled my brain. For me, the problem with the political side is that it gets confused (and convoluted) in the festival part. It starts to get much to keep track of, like the other kings, what is happening, the wolves that attack Gunther and Yuè, the political repercussions, and all of that. It gets a little confused but this part soon goes out and the story fixes itself there, so no big deals after a while. The pacing is more of the character interactions and development, while I'm a fan of taking things slowly, most chapters feel a little too close to each other in theme and pacing, giving this feeling that the pacing is a little show because of the narrative structure and how things are deal with and the overall direction. Marcellus is mean, talk with Emery or Gunther, go-to plot point A or B, makes the story run, makes Marcellus open up a little, character interaction with the others, goes back to MArcellus being mean or ill-tempered for some reason, Prince and repeat. It is not bad, but it starts to give a faux, or true feeling of things growing too slowly, because of the repetition of structure and events in the chapter. While it is not a bad thing on its own per see, I feel the way the chapters go too close to each other in the narrative structure, which makes me feel it is a little too slow. Also, I'm broke so I'm limited to the free chapters only.
MorkMorkinson:I feel like several of your critiques would have been different had you read a few more chapters. You do make a few good points (like forgetting names) but some of those points (such as the relationship with Gunter) has plot behind it and reason. You’ve articulated pretty well on just about everything with the exception of the character design. What don’t you like exactly? Why do you find the tie in of the politics confusing? Why do you feel the plot is slow?
Laziest_Pillow:Design is more of taste, there is nothing wrong with it besides my personal tastes, I like more anime-esque style for characters because anime culture spoiled my brain. For me, the problem with the political side is that it gets confused (and convoluted) in the festival part. It starts to get much to keep track of, like the other kings, what is happening, the wolves that attack Gunther and Yuè, the political repercussions, and all of that. It gets a little confused but this part soon goes out and the story fixes itself there, so no big deals after a while. The pacing is more of the character interactions and development, while I'm a fan of taking things slowly, most chapters feel a little too close to each other in theme and pacing, giving this feeling that the pacing is a little show because of the narrative structure and how things are deal with and the overall direction. Marcellus is mean, talk with Emery or Gunther, go-to plot point A or B, makes the story run, makes Marcellus open up a little, character interaction with the others, goes back to MArcellus being mean or ill-tempered for some reason, Prince and repeat. It is not bad, but it starts to give a faux, or true feeling of things growing too slowly, because of the repetition of structure and events in the chapter. While it is not a bad thing on its own per see, I feel the way the chapters go too close to each other in the narrative structure, which makes me feel it is a little too slow. Also, I'm broke so I'm limited to the free chapters only.