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papimi8317Lv11mth
2024-12-27 17:51

Many problems in this story. Biggest one is the MC. He isn’t really a “character” by that I mean that his personality depends on what the author needs for the plot. The only constant personality trait I’ve seen of the MC is that he’s a creep towards women, and being a complete coward that can’t tell love interests that he is already in a relationship with other girls, he’d rather sleep with them and lead them on first. Author also doesn’t know what makes a protagonist charming. So he has the MC deliver the worst lines imaginable to flirt with the love interests and yet the author paints those lines as if they were the most poetic words ever uttered. There are many more issues with the MC but it’d take too long to list every example. Second biggest issue with the story is inconsistency. From changing a characters age many times Like Shizuka suddenly being aged up multiple times despite being younger in earlier chapters. To bigger more ridiculous inconsistencies. Honestly, it’s crazy how bad it can get. I’ll give a made up example but there are very similar instances just like this throughout the story. If the author says the MC woke up, put his clothes on, then headed to school; in the next paragraph the author will say that the MC had to return to his house once he left because he had forgotten to put his clothes on. It took 1 paragraph for the author to forget what they just wrote. Sometimes the inconsistency happens in the same literal paragraph, so in the span of a sentence the author will write that the complete opposite had happened than what he had literally just written. No proofreading I guess. Third issue, wanting to keep the canon even if it has to be shamelessly forced. Author explains it as them not wanting to slow down the release rate so when they are feeling down they just copy whatever events happen in the original story and forces the plot no matter how much doing so will create massive inconsistencies. The author will act as if certain things in the past never happened if it means being able to force canon. The time skips are handled incredibly poorly. It’s a turn your brain off fanfic, if the inconsistencies could be fixed, and the author could learn what makes a good protagonist then the author would be able to write a fun to read story. I’ve read up to chapter 192 so maybe it happens later but I don’t know if I’ll continue it.

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