webnovel
Avengtank
AvengtankLv51yr
2023-09-17 14:44

very bad writing. Author puts chapters as author notes and also put immersion breaking narrations which kill the involvement of the reader. Also the idea of onepiece system is interesting but the execution of it is very bad and boaring. Example: the Author could take some other interesting Fruit which would make the reading much interesting. Also in a cultivation world the pace the MC is developing is very slow. Also mixing of onepiece system and cultivation makes is very uninteresting. The integrations between the characters is also not executed properly to keep the readers engaged. All the chapters feels very boring , lackluster and very short. I would like to see author improve and will edit this review later if it gets better.

One piece system in a cultivation world.

Rugh13
Not enough ratings
42 Chs

Liked by 2 people

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Replies4
Rugh13
Rugh13Author

Can you elaborate on those points so it can help me see what I did wrong? As for the Author note thing, I want to keep the readers updated, it might not be good for readers, I just think it will be nice to give updates about why there aren't uploads and stuff.

1yr
Venerable_Far
Venerable_FarLv11

having multiple fruit is always a bad idea... it just splits the mcs focus from awakening a singular one

1yr
Aztec_Azazel
Aztec_AzazelLv13

i bet you chose one piece system because you think devil fruits are cool n ddnt realize how weak they are compared to cultivation world. one piece world is all about physical strength n theres a limit at how much power they can get. cultivation world is boundless so the idea of one piece system in cultivation world is very strange. Try to think where your novel is heading before you waste your precious time coz at some point you will have to start forcing things.

Rugh13:Can you elaborate on those points so it can help me see what I did wrong? As for the Author note thing, I want to keep the readers updated, it might not be good for readers, I just think it will be nice to give updates about why there aren't uploads and stuff.
1yr
Rugh13
Rugh13Author

I planned on having him focus on both body cultivation and devil fruits.

Aztec_Azazel:i bet you chose one piece system because you think devil fruits are cool n ddnt realize how weak they are compared to cultivation world. one piece world is all about physical strength n theres a limit at how much power they can get. cultivation world is boundless so the idea of one piece system in cultivation world is very strange. Try to think where your novel is heading before you waste your precious time coz at some point you will have to start forcing things.
1yr
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SBfanfiction
SBfanfictionLv4

It's okay, a little stale on the story telling. A lot of rambling to himself. I guess it's a pass.

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GMC2_GAMING
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For now I Shall leave and come back after more chapter

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