The world and plot of the story is fun but I can’t give too much credit there since it is very easily “influenced” by other similar novels (virtually 10% of Webnovel alone follows similar plot lines). The problem for me was that the first 5 chapters were practically from an entirely different book. The author has spoken about their favorite books and what they were going for but needs a completely different start to the book for the characters to make sense. They clearly want to go the comedy route like the slime novels but completely missed the aspects of that series that allowed the comedy to make sense. I’m slime, the mc was a burnt out salaryman that had heroic tendencies but was an Everyman thrust into a magical world. This novel’s mc shouldn’t get to have the same silliness and lack of purpose and urgency that made the slime succeed as a comedy. In addition to the problems in establishing the personality of the mc, the author also completely dropped the ball on transitioning the mc’s personality and you can see two completely different characters speaking from chapter 5 to chapter 6. No explanation about the extreme comedy approach out of nowhere. One chapter he is extremely upset and confused about his new life and the next he is acting like killing people is his second favorite pastime? (Literally used the words “human juice” when describing blood) Overall I think that the author had an idea for a comedy but got their genres confused and was not experienced enough to figure out how to make everything make sense. I can tell they made great strides in improving their grammar and syntax based on earlier reviews but that is only the absolute basics required to write something. Hopefully their next novel will include a more consistent point of view as an author once their writing ability and artistic visions are more solidified.
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Thank you so much for review, yes you are right this is inspired from my favorite story and obviously I told that because it would not make any sense to say, no, no, no, this is completely my idea, I can't lie to my reader who are reading my story and giving feedback to me for improvement and helping me.yes, you are right, as my first novel, where I spent time to write that's a way for me to improve and this is only way to improve where I write something and reader will read it, I can't improve by writing for myself. and I appreciate every feedback and your was the very elaborated and focused what I missed.yes, I am also planning to make my second novel better than this and hopefully I will succeed. Comedy for me was the way to hide the fear and nervousness of the mc because it inspired from my behavior XD, and later I removed the Comedy part when there is the change in personality of MC. and in last, so much thanks and for the honest opinion which focused on the lack of the story.
Yes, and obviously plot is totally different :P
Promezus:Thank you so much for review, yes you are right this is inspired from my favorite story and obviously I told that because it would not make any sense to say, no, no, no, this is completely my idea, I can't lie to my reader who are reading my story and giving feedback to me for improvement and helping me.yes, you are right, as my first novel, where I spent time to write that's a way for me to improve and this is only way to improve where I write something and reader will read it, I can't improve by writing for myself. and I appreciate every feedback and your was the very elaborated and focused what I missed.yes, I am also planning to make my second novel better than this and hopefully I will succeed. Comedy for me was the way to hide the fear and nervousness of the mc because it inspired from my behavior XD, and later I removed the Comedy part when there is the change in personality of MC. and in last, so much thanks and for the honest opinion which focused on the lack of the story.
