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Review Detail of moonmirror in The Undying Star

Review detail

moonmirror
moonmirrorLv49mthmoonmirror

Alright, let's start with the pacing. The pacing is generally well-handled, providing enough details to keep the readers engaged without overwhelming them with excessive information.The interaction between Ian and Alaric is a central focus, highlighting their connection and Alaric's concern for Ian's well-being. I like the sibling relationship between them.However, there are many instances where the prose could be refined to enhance readability and flow. Some parts of the dialogue feel a bit repetitive or overly verbose, which might slow down the pacing.Trimming down the dialogue while retaining the essence of the characters' thoughts and emotions could help maintain a smoother rhythm.Here's some improvements the author could implement: 1. The Claritiy of Descriptions: Some parts of the description, especially during the action scenes, will benefit from a clearer portrayal of the surroundings and character movements. This will help readers visualize the scenes more effectively.2. Balancing the Pacing: The story shifts between intense action and quieter moments. Make sure the transitions between these moments are smooth and the pacing remains balanced to maintain the reader's engagement.3. Show vs Tell: In many instances throughout the novel, the narrator tells the reader about the character's emotions or reactions. In my opinion, it would be better to show these through their actions, thoughts, and dialogues.4. Dialogue Tags: Please avoid overusing phrases like "said", "asked", "mumbled" etc.5. Details: Details are very important, for example, you could include sensory detalis like smell, sounds and textures.Overall, the novel has great potential. The update stability is good, and I hope the author will maintain it. Regarding the writing quality, it's good, however, if the scenes were more detailed I'd give it 5 stars.

altalt

The Undying Star

daniz_

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daniz_
daniz_Authordaniz_

Thank you very much for your detailed review. I'll work on the things you mentioned and try to improve, I really appreciate your kindness