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Klillo
KlilloLv1311mth
2024-06-01 17:49

This is my personal opinion so don't take any offense in any way. The writing is mostly readable even though there are quite some grammar mistakes or even entire words are just random (it seems). The story is fast paced because the development of the xenomorphs is quite fast, but at the same time it is slow paced because of the multiple povs. The Xeno-race is quite in the background because of that and the little screentime doesn't leave much room for explanations and development. Also because of the multiple povs of the side characters that will die within 20 chapters makes the reading quite boring because they don't have any impact in the long term. If you have multiple povs I expect characters with impact like some prince or whatever like a real enemy or friend. The Mc's design is quite dull. He is some crazy mass murder who would kill anyone and at the same time is a loving nerd, so just crazy. He was enraged when one runner died but the death of the rest of them were just mentioned in brackets (). The haggling with the system which is explained as a limiter to the Mc's development speed doesn't limit at all. It permanently gives mc things that he shouldn't have at his stage and also explains it that way but still does it anyway. The interactions the mc has with the system is also just boring and cringe tbh. The other characters do have just a tiny bit of character themselves but it only shows through one trait they have. The world background is normal steampunk with magic and monsters and it's not fully explained (where I am) how the countries work. All in all I dislike the attention which side characters get (they all will certainly die) instead of mc who almost has no screen time after ch10 or so. I don't dislike the will not to forget smaller characters but keep it in check. Btw I'm thankful for the pictures the author adds.

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Sulfates_Cidif
Sulfates_CidifAuthor

Thank you for the review:), but I do feel the need to point that every word is not random, but I get how it may seem that way, as for the multiple pov, I originally wasn't going to do that, heck I even asked if the readers if they wanted me to stop doing that and only focus on the aliens. [ didn't actual aspect the book to balloon as it did, expected a small reader base] because I also know how annoying it can be, as for the way the world works, I didn't go into as much because of the word limit I set, around 2kish, I didn't want to bore the reader with an expedition dump. so, I tried to tie it in slowly in the multiple POV. In the end, I chose the multiple POV mainly to show case the horrors of alien rather then individual development other than for Aaron and kippley because I plan to at least give him the heros journey, as for kipple the revenge plot along with the troll child. Breder character was all ways planned to be simple because I got so tried of reading the same type of MC, most novel I've read, it's either Mc dumb, weak to strong cringe, or so strong but has way to many side chick's. [ side chicks eat the bulk of the story] so I gave him a simple to understand dynamic that play great with a genocide type monster, I didn't want to write an MC geting use to killing etc... / scard idiot type trying to understand reincarnation etc.. [which also involve a lot of cliche boring expedition dump at the start of most novels] after reading 300 plus novel its does get tired some.... either way I thank you again for the review! I'm glade you like the pictures!

Sulfates_Cidif
Sulfates_CidifAuthor

OH! as for grammer... ya still working on that.... English hard! Grammerly cost to much and using Google docs plus outlook free word is the best I can do atm

Sulfates_Cidif:Thank you for the review:), but I do feel the need to point that every word is not random, but I get how it may seem that way, as for the multiple pov, I originally wasn't going to do that, heck I even asked if the readers if they wanted me to stop doing that and only focus on the aliens. [ didn't actual aspect the book to balloon as it did, expected a small reader base] because I also know how annoying it can be, as for the way the world works, I didn't go into as much because of the word limit I set, around 2kish, I didn't want to bore the reader with an expedition dump. so, I tried to tie it in slowly in the multiple POV. In the end, I chose the multiple POV mainly to show case the horrors of alien rather then individual development other than for Aaron and kippley because I plan to at least give him the heros journey, as for kipple the revenge plot along with the troll child. Breder character was all ways planned to be simple because I got so tried of reading the same type of MC, most novel I've read, it's either Mc dumb, weak to strong cringe, or so strong but has way to many side chick's. [ side chicks eat the bulk of the story] so I gave him a simple to understand dynamic that play great with a genocide type monster, I didn't want to write an MC geting use to killing etc... / scard idiot type trying to understand reincarnation etc.. [which also involve a lot of cliche boring expedition dump at the start of most novels] after reading 300 plus novel its does get tired some.... either way I thank you again for the review! I'm glade you like the pictures!
Klillo
KlilloLv13

Well First of all i didnt mean that u jut write random words but misspelled words that Look random because they are quite far off. second of all, IT sounds Like i only criticised. The world building\development part is Just as explanation or meant as Info. I naturally understand the use of multiple povs and IT might have sounded Like i only criticize that but I only dislike that IT feel Like side characters are given more Screentime than needed. And If i write reviews i mostly try to only criticize because I think that maybe knowing mistakes or my opinion might Help them or realize mistakes that they overlooked. and because of my pragmatism. As for the Standard MC config many novels use, its because they are easy to Work with and easy to develop. Its hard to Work with a "new" Kind of character. Which is mostly why MC relies on the system. that Takes His space to develop because the system helps him too much i think. i also think that the characters Background is Not complete. as a massmurder He could have other specialties that He could Further develop in the new world Like hiding and living in the wild. even tho he is a nerd regarding aliens He doesnt think Things through despite having all the knowledge about them or at least quite much. So Just for later Stories you might wanna write. i hink your characters Just need a deeper foundation and room for their development.

Sulfates_Cidif:Thank you for the review:), but I do feel the need to point that every word is not random, but I get how it may seem that way, as for the multiple pov, I originally wasn't going to do that, heck I even asked if the readers if they wanted me to stop doing that and only focus on the aliens. [ didn't actual aspect the book to balloon as it did, expected a small reader base] because I also know how annoying it can be, as for the way the world works, I didn't go into as much because of the word limit I set, around 2kish, I didn't want to bore the reader with an expedition dump. so, I tried to tie it in slowly in the multiple POV. In the end, I chose the multiple POV mainly to show case the horrors of alien rather then individual development other than for Aaron and kippley because I plan to at least give him the heros journey, as for kipple the revenge plot along with the troll child. Breder character was all ways planned to be simple because I got so tried of reading the same type of MC, most novel I've read, it's either Mc dumb, weak to strong cringe, or so strong but has way to many side chick's. [ side chicks eat the bulk of the story] so I gave him a simple to understand dynamic that play great with a genocide type monster, I didn't want to write an MC geting use to killing etc... / scard idiot type trying to understand reincarnation etc.. [which also involve a lot of cliche boring expedition dump at the start of most novels] after reading 300 plus novel its does get tired some.... either way I thank you again for the review! I'm glade you like the pictures!
Sulfates_Cidif
Sulfates_CidifAuthor

o I like the criticism, of the 6 stories I'm writing, I only have like 3 reviews, so I actually do appreciate it, my reply was for clarification if nothing else, as for the misspell words I do try to edited as much as possible but some do slip through, it's funny... if you read my earliest work/ chapter they are of lesser quality then the later ones, so I feel like at least I'm improving xd, like if you read forsaken satyr... you would see it for sure, even though I did make some slight changes to that one, or my warcraft fanfiction or my Warhammer one, if you do decide to check out the forsaken satyr one out, note that I "put on the self" so to speak, since it failed to get ppl attention, it's needs a lot of reworks. [ back then my word limit was 500 words to 1k... man I feel like such a numb xd]

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