The concept is alright but the writing quality, story dev and character design leave a bit to be desired... The MC Is Lunarya Stark. Latin name, which feels out of setting. MC has duo toned hair, and is the younger twin to Lyanna Stark. MC has the mindset of a teenage girl with all the drama that entails as a when shes not yet in her teens unless the author changed the ages. The story itself is told with new facts being habhazardly inserted. One moment mc is doing one thing, the next apparently she was doing another thing and the initial thing turns out to be a by product. The who, what, when and where are not very clear in this story. The formating could also do with a touch up. spme paragraphs are unpleasantly long when reading this on a smartphone. Pov's are camouflaged as random scene breaks. Example: XXXXXXXRIKARDXXXXXXX Thats illegible as all hell. I didnt even notice that was a POV indicator at first. All in all tough, its minor things that can be easily edited should the author wish to enhance the reading experience. It would be fairly simple to provide a good reading experience if the author simply mimicked the formatting of the most popular WN to the authors liking on here. Genre wise? I would peg this as a solid Gen Z mindset Teengirl Drama.
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I appreciate the constructive criticism. Formatting is not my thing, so maybe when I get a beta or when the story is finished, I’ll reformat since it’s written more for AO3 and fanfiction,net. I do want to address a few things though. Considering that northern names come from all over Europe from Germany to the UK, I don’t really think the MC’s name is out of place, especially considering the canon names of the women of house Stark. The last thing I’d like to say is that you seem to just not like the personality of the MC, which is honestly fine, she has a distinct persona. You seemed to have indicated a dislike of how she swings between child and adult, but that’s kind of the point of her being a reincarnation,. She’s a little unhinged, a little scattered, and she has to fight with the physical limitations of a child’s body and how that affects her mentally. I strive for an element of realism in my characters, meaning they are flawed. Additionally, I don’t see reincarnation being so smooth like it’s often portrayed. I understand this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I do wish to make it clear that this is a deliberate character design choice on my part as the author. Thank you for the feedback .
Np, I did rate on wn criteria so my opinion of the mc's personality was not included in that. The review did however point out my observations on the matter. That said, one does not need to be a fan of a characters personality to still enjoy the story. Nor would one person's opinion on a character be shared by all. Hense, why I mentioned the type of personality and perspective mindset the mc had but did not state my opinion on it.
Raat_Ki_Rani:I appreciate the constructive criticism. Formatting is not my thing, so maybe when I get a beta or when the story is finished, I’ll reformat since it’s written more for AO3 and fanfiction,net. I do want to address a few things though. Considering that northern names come from all over Europe from Germany to the UK, I don’t really think the MC’s name is out of place, especially considering the canon names of the women of house Stark. The last thing I’d like to say is that you seem to just not like the personality of the MC, which is honestly fine, she has a distinct persona. You seemed to have indicated a dislike of how she swings between child and adult, but that’s kind of the point of her being a reincarnation,. She’s a little unhinged, a little scattered, and she has to fight with the physical limitations of a child’s body and how that affects her mentally. I strive for an element of realism in my characters, meaning they are flawed. Additionally, I don’t see reincarnation being so smooth like it’s often portrayed. I understand this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I do wish to make it clear that this is a deliberate character design choice on my part as the author. Thank you for the feedback .
Fair enough
SUBSCRIBE_MY_LIST:Np, I did rate on wn criteria so my opinion of the mc's personality was not included in that. The review did however point out my observations on the matter. That said, one does not need to be a fan of a characters personality to still enjoy the story. Nor would one person's opinion on a character be shared by all. Hense, why I mentioned the type of personality and perspective mindset the mc had but did not state my opinion on it.
