I only read the first chapter. But from what I could tell from the first 10 mins of reading is that the word choice is as best as I can put it lacking and weird. I feel like expanding the vocabulary used or having someone proof read it could have helped with some of the awkward word choice.
Krota456
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LIKEKrota456:Yeah, your right, im not at good at it, but ill see what I can do to make my writing better throughout the story... But overall, thank you for the message