The story and MC have great potential, but the writing quality isn't detailed enough. The fight scenes are generalized, I can't picture character movement in the fights. It sounds like, they're just standing in place throwing attacks at each other. Besides that, there isn't a detail about Akun's interaction with the System, so it seems like he doesn't use it much. It doesn't show how many evolution pts he has nor how he spends them. We don't know any details about the gamer shop, what it looks like, what's in it, its limits nor how much the items are. I'd like to see more details on these things to feel more immersed in Akun's development. The glossed-over details make the writing feel rushed and inexperienced.
I appreciate your review, now I will go a make necessary improvements to all the necessary previous chapters, would you mind checking out the novel then
ZurblurisAuthor
currently rewriting the story's first volume, consider checking it out đź‘€
St_Nick444Lv13
I will, I'm looking forward to it
Zurbluris:currently rewriting the story's first volume, consider checking it out đź‘€
ZurblurisAuthor
would love to receive ur comment on what you think of it so far đź‘Ś