webnovel
St_Nick444Lv131yr
2023-10-22 15:04

The story and MC have great potential, but the writing quality isn't detailed enough. The fight scenes are generalized, I can't picture character movement in the fights. It sounds like, they're just standing in place throwing attacks at each other. Besides that, there isn't a detail about Akun's interaction with the System, so it seems like he doesn't use it much. It doesn't show how many evolution pts he has nor how he spends them. We don't know any details about the gamer shop, what it looks like, what's in it, its limits nor how much the items are. I'd like to see more details on these things to feel more immersed in Akun's development. The glossed-over details make the writing feel rushed and inexperienced.

Liked by 4 people

LIKE
Replies4
ZurblurisAuthor

I appreciate your review, now I will go a make necessary improvements to all the necessary previous chapters, would you mind checking out the novel then

ZurblurisAuthor

currently rewriting the story's first volume, consider checking it out đź‘€

St_Nick444Lv13

I will, I'm looking forward to it

Zurbluris:currently rewriting the story's first volume, consider checking it out đź‘€
ZurblurisAuthor

would love to receive ur comment on what you think of it so far đź‘Ś

St_Nick444:I will, I'm looking forward to it
Other Reviews
ZurblurisAuthor

Review made at chapter 194 Welcome to my personal and honest review of my novel, as well as a place where you can ask all your questions. There are some things I want to point out to new readers of this work, and I hope after reading this, you will be able to enjoy the novel as much as I enjoy writing it. Okay, let's go. Firstly, I want to admit that when I started writing this novel, I never really did a lot of research on ants, regrettably so. The time my protagonist spent as an ant was rather short, which upset many of my readers, causing them to drop the novel. I was more into fantasy novels where the monster protagonist ended up taking on an amazing human form, which greatly influenced me while writing this novel. I wanted my protagonist to be something similar in the hopes I could achieve the greatness I loved and idolized. Maybe if I could turn back time, I would have done better to meet all of your expectations. Partly, this was also my first successful attempt at writing a web novel. Secondly, the dialogues. Being as experienced as I am now, I fully understand and realize that dialogues are the major lifeblood of a novel. They entirely determine the direction of most of the novel, so it's not something you just write down without properly analyzing the right words to use in that moment. Regrettably, I didn't do such analysis, so the dialogues of the first couple of chapters may come off as cringy, but please bear with me. As I mentioned earlier, this was my first successful attempt at writing a web novel, so I was majorly inexperienced and unable to write something truly praiseworthy. However, it gets much better down the line, so try to bear with it. Thirdly, the storyline. Regrettably, the early chapters of this novel were penned down from sudden bursts of imagination and inspiration, so it seemed like the novel didn't have a clear direction. I fixed this around chapter 20 when I started to realize I couldn't come up with random chapters from my head and actually needed to plan everything. So hang in there until that chapter. Finally, something I'm proud of. I kind of love how I was able to not only improve all of the above but also the complexity. The novel comes off as a nice balance of evolution with a touch of Isekai fantasy, featuring battle, bloodshed, conquest. I love the way I've been able to somewhat give this world of mine a unique and intriguing history with a slight touch of mystery, tiny doses of revenge, retribution, and an excellent showcase of power. I love the way I've been able to slowly but surely craft out a personality for all of my characters—how my protagonist relates to them and the overall world-building. Although I can't go into the details because that would be giving spoilers, I can guarantee that if you try not to let the beginning stages of the novel bother you, you are in for a fairly good read.

Related Stories

Level 1 to Infinity: My Bloodline Is the Ultimate Cheat!

They shattered his life. Now, he’ll break the world. Ethan had it all, until his best friend and the woman he loved betrayed him, leaving him crippled and forgotten. Three years of suffering later, he clawed his way to one final, desperate act… and the universe answered. A hidden quest. A second chance. A return to the moment everything began. Now, Ethan is back, on the eve of Ethereal’s launch, the world’s first fully immersive VR game and the battlefield where legends are forged. Last time, he played fair. This time? He’s armed with years of knowledge: every exploit, every secret quest, every broken mechanic that will let him climb straight to the top. But when he logs in, something is off. The system forces him into an unwanted class—Druid, the game’s biggest joke. The kind of class people pick as a dare and regret immediately. Yet as Ethan digs deeper, the truth shakes him. [Congratulations! You have unlocked the Divine Bloodline: King of Elves!] Ethan stared at the screen, unblinking. “…The hell?” The Druid class was a jack-of-all-trades, master of none—a scattered mess of abilities that mimicked other classes but never truly excelled. Their bear form lacked the raw defense of a proper tank. Their panther form was weaker than a rogue. Their healing fell short of a priest, and their magic couldn’t compare to a mage’s devastating spells. Most players abandoned the class early, realizing they could never compete at the highest level. And yet, Ethan’s stats are off the charts. His talents are absurd. His potential is beyond anything he’s ever seen. The system has given him something no other Druid ever had—a divine bloodline, legendary abilities, and a growth rate that defies logic. If Druids were meant to be weak, then Ethan was the exception that would rewrite history. He’s not just here to reclaim his throne. He’s here to take everything. Factions will rise. Empires will fall. The strongest will thrive, and the weak will perish. And the ones who betrayed him? They won’t live to do it again.

Raundel_NFT · Fantasy
4.4
177 Chs

Reincarnated With Three Unique Skills

"Congratulations on receiving the following Unique Skills:- –Appraisal (Basic) –Skill Absorption (Mythic) –Universal Synthesis (Ultimate)" _____________________________________ "Synthesis Skills— Swift Sword Strike + Fire Toad's Breath." "Ding!" "Congratulations! Your Skill Synthesis was successful." "Your skills evolved into: Azula Sword Strike.‌" "Synthesis Materials— Titanium Runic Sword + Wyvern Bones" "Congratulations! You Synthesis was successful. Your Sword has evolved into Skeletal Dragon Sword." ----- In a heart-wrenching tale of loneliness and despair, Ethan's life has been one of unending tragedy. Orphaned at a young age and tormented by a relentless terminal illness, he spent his final days confined to a cold, confined hospital room. As he takes his last breath, he awakened in a mysterious void, where Ethan is given the opportunity to choose three unique skills that will define his new existence. With millions of options but only three choices, he carefully selects his path, setting the stage for an extraordinary journey of Reincarnation. Reincarnated into a fantastical world filled with magical Skills, powerful beings, and untold dangers, Ethan must navigate his new life, wielding the skills he chose to survive and thrive in a realm where anything is possible. But the question remains: Will this second life bring him the happiness and purpose he was denied in his first, or will it lead him down an even darker path? Chapter release: 2 chs/day Guys, its my first time writing, and it might not suit everyone. I can only say sorry in advance. Thanks for reading!

Elias_Nightwalker · Fantasy
4.3
464 Chs

I AM A MAGE BUT WITH MILF SYSTEM

****EXTREMELY SMUTTY **CAUTION: CONTAINS ELEMENT OF TABOO, Julian, the son of Duke Alden and the grandson of Grand Duke Augustus stood Infront of the crystalline ball that emanated mana. The crystal absorbed his mana and started glowing with purplish hue, with a sparks of lightning. "Yes, I have unlocked Lightning Affinity," Julian said, a spark of excitement lighting up his blue eyes. Suddenly, the ball began absorbing too much mana, Julian's eyes widened in horror as the energy swirled out of control, crackling with an intensity that was and terrifying. Just as he realized the danger, the ball erupted in a blinding flash, a shockwave of power surging outward. Julian wasn't hurt, but he felt a strange sensation as a dark mist swirled in front of him. Suddenly, he saw a strange entity, a shadowy figure, slip into his forehead. Then, Julian heard an unfamiliar sound echo in his head: “WELCOME TO THE MILF SYSTEM.” Connecting....Success Initializing.......Success “FUCK THE MILFS AND GET STRONGER, CONQUER THE MILFS, CONQUER THE WORLD.” , The voice said Curiosity piqued, Julian quickly asked, "Can you tell me more about the MILF SYSTEM?" The voice continued, "Sure, The MILF SYSTEM will help you reach unimaginable power as a mage. You will need to complete the tasks assigned to you and earn points." ********************* MILF SYSTEM - TASK POINTS CHART Handjob - 10 Points Blowjob - 20 Points Sex - 75 Points Creampie - 100 Points Threesome - 200 Points Spank - 15 Points Anal - 150 Points ********************* Julian grinned, excitement bubbling up inside him. “Well, if that’s what I should do to be stronger, I guess we don’t have any other choice,” he declared, determination shining in his blue eyes ************** [Huge Harem] [In Depth R-18] [Hardcore Fetishes] [Extreme Sex] [Gore] [Big Boobs] [MILF] [Best Girls] [Anal] [Threesome] [Foursome] [N-some] [Big ass] [Impregnation] Some smut scene may contain: [Spitting] [Slapping] [BDSM] [No NTR - No sharing - No mind control - No drugs or potions that influence the girls A lot of Netori and Stealing] Contains long and detailed smut.

author_210 · Fantasy
4.3
355 Chs