webnovel
ZestalLv151yr
2023-08-15 19:28

The actual idea is good. Fantasy mixed with evolution with a clear end goal. Plot, which admittedly is slightly overused, but is done in a weirdly refreshing way. The problem starts with the way it's been written. Unfortunately it reads like somebody is telling a third-hand story to a friend rather than an actual novel. The weird perspective changes and random inner monologue descriptions interceding the middle of sentences gives a rather disjointed read. Some sentences read as if a thesaurus had third-grader syndrome, especially those written in the perspective of secondary characters/creatures. Capitalisation and the odd grammatical error can be overlooked, as I often do with non-native English speakers. However there is a point at which it becomes slightly unreadable and that is when it crossing the threshold of corrupted flow. Unfortunately flow is something that takes time to get right and a LOT of practise.So keep going and I'll keep an eye out on any further stories you write.

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ZurblurisAuthor

Thanks for the honest review, I'll try to improve with time. 😊

Other Reviews
ZurblurisAuthor

Review made at chapter 194 Welcome to my personal and honest review of my novel, as well as a place where you can ask all your questions. There are some things I want to point out to new readers of this work, and I hope after reading this, you will be able to enjoy the novel as much as I enjoy writing it. Okay, let's go. Firstly, I want to admit that when I started writing this novel, I never really did a lot of research on ants, regrettably so. The time my protagonist spent as an ant was rather short, which upset many of my readers, causing them to drop the novel. I was more into fantasy novels where the monster protagonist ended up taking on an amazing human form, which greatly influenced me while writing this novel. I wanted my protagonist to be something similar in the hopes I could achieve the greatness I loved and idolized. Maybe if I could turn back time, I would have done better to meet all of your expectations. Partly, this was also my first successful attempt at writing a web novel. Secondly, the dialogues. Being as experienced as I am now, I fully understand and realize that dialogues are the major lifeblood of a novel. They entirely determine the direction of most of the novel, so it's not something you just write down without properly analyzing the right words to use in that moment. Regrettably, I didn't do such analysis, so the dialogues of the first couple of chapters may come off as cringy, but please bear with me. As I mentioned earlier, this was my first successful attempt at writing a web novel, so I was majorly inexperienced and unable to write something truly praiseworthy. However, it gets much better down the line, so try to bear with it. Thirdly, the storyline. Regrettably, the early chapters of this novel were penned down from sudden bursts of imagination and inspiration, so it seemed like the novel didn't have a clear direction. I fixed this around chapter 20 when I started to realize I couldn't come up with random chapters from my head and actually needed to plan everything. So hang in there until that chapter. Finally, something I'm proud of. I kind of love how I was able to not only improve all of the above but also the complexity. The novel comes off as a nice balance of evolution with a touch of Isekai fantasy, featuring battle, bloodshed, conquest. I love the way I've been able to somewhat give this world of mine a unique and intriguing history with a slight touch of mystery, tiny doses of revenge, retribution, and an excellent showcase of power. I love the way I've been able to slowly but surely craft out a personality for all of my characters—how my protagonist relates to them and the overall world-building. Although I can't go into the details because that would be giving spoilers, I can guarantee that if you try not to let the beginning stages of the novel bother you, you are in for a fairly good read.

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