For Author’s view only.
Rating 3/5:
This book is in my library for 2+ months. I started reading but stopped after reading 8 or 9 chapters. I don’t have anything to read now So I gave it a push. I’m the type of reader who says for what it is. I READ A LOT(WN, Kindle, P*treon, Ibook platforms etc). So I believe I have expertise to provide technical comments on books. The book is good(kinda). Well the review is divided into pre 150 and post 150 chapters. The first half is good. The second half started good but it is going downhill real quick. Lots of folks might have mentioned positives but I’m concentrating more on cons of this book. These are my issues with the book.
1.) There is actually no growth in MC skill wise (singing, production etc) meaning he is heavily system reliant. The Author failed to show how the MC is improving by relying on system PLOT ARMOR.
2.) For an ex mafia member MC is WAY TOO PASSIVE. I mean at certain point you feel like he is a PUSHOVER. He also acts STUPID. I mean who tells the villain about his impending doom only for villain to rectify it? He might have a SAINT behavior in mafia gang but after spending so many years, he need to have that knack feeling similar to 6th sense. A different author who wrote similar genre book has implemented that 6th sense to the MC really well. If you want I can elaborate on that. We do not want a COLD BLOODED MC but MC who has a genuine head on his shoulder.
3.) Author likes to create too much UNNECESSARY AMATEUR drama. There is no point in creating that UNNECESSARY AMATEUR drama only for MC to come out unscathed. As a reader we like plot progression with main characters personal growth. Not this type of plot progression by creating unnecessary amateur drama only to get resolved few chapters later. Some drama is necessary like the 2 characters from original Joon’s past as it is presented as a necessary thread but the other stuff like the Moon/Xin is UNNECESSARY. This line of writing is predominantly written by asian authors as it gets traction from local populace but from a global WN perspective only certain section of readers stick with book and the other drop the book VERY quickly(I’m also asian BTW). Global audience LOVES DRAMA but the drama should be CREATIVE, TENSE, NAIL BITING. This style of drama is implemented by hundreds of other authors previously and most of those books failed. They wrote 1000+ chapters but all of them are a pile of junk books that folks don’t read.
There are ways to rectify the point1 and 3. For point2 I already provided how. If you want to use that 6th sense thing do it subtilely and don’t force implement in a single chapter.
Point 1.) In order to make MC less reliant on system, you need to portray MC in a way that he is actually putting some effort like listening to multiple genre music, going through production scores, dabbling with instruments etc. All these things at least on a macro level should be shown to readers. Your goal is for MC to become a top idol. No one becomes top idol if they are messing around and you need to show it.
Point 3.) This is kinda difficult to put into words but I will try. June is the face of the book. Not Lin Zhi. Not loufa(White Tiger leader) but June. These Lin Zhi, Loufa, White Tiger gang are categorized as sub drama threads meaning they are just canon fodder drama aspects. The real drama should be how MC struggles to become an Idol like his learning process, how he gets his creative concepts, how he gets new opportunities etc. Audience aspective should be secondary. The primary concern is how he fights to get the limited opportunities as an independent artist. Currently he is in a label but his end goal should be owning his own record label and producing his own songs. I don’t know your thought process but if you want him to become a top idol, at certain point he needs to step out of Korea meaning he needs to become a global star. Honestly speaking, If comparing same genre music there are 100’s of western artists who could wipe the floor skill wise compared to asian artists because hip hop/ pop/ r&b etc are predominantly used in west similar to Basket Ball and Soccer. You can show more drama here by how MC is struggling to break into a global artist. I’ll also join discord(If available). You can ping me over there and you can also reply me here if you read the review.
