webnovel
Insert_Here
Insert_HereLv131yr
2023-08-31 09:24

way too much of an info dump though i am sure there will be people who love reading all the info stuff but it is not for me

Liked by 22 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
anubis1650
anubis1650Lv5

ch6 Review 06/02/2023 I'm going to start off saying that there's just too much of an info dump. It's just too unwieldy and makes it a complete and utter chore to understand where you are in the world with your characters and The Changed History. I feel it could have been simplified a lot more without going so far into it making the whole process unpleasant instead of something you want to read to find out about the story. all the writing so far I think was good but I think the introduction of the Dragons was too much because it normally is. Daenerys got away with it mostly because she didn't have much else no education no special powers besides fire immunity in a world where very few people use fire as a weapon had very little control of the Dragons plus no support system besides the one she very Loosely collected. I firmly believe that anytime you want to introduce an MC with dragons in Asoiaf/Got you really can only give the MC a Eragon type background he has the dragon and not much else because they're just so overpowered in that world anything more usually leads to ridiculous power levels which is a story killer in my opinion. My recommendation would be remove the dragons and to be honest just create a new house to insert it. You made too much work I believe to fit house mudd into the history with all those changes which is led to those huge info dumps. you can give an easy loose history of the house and be done with it. Since you're using web novel you might want to get a Asoiaf map use a paint program to show where any houses or places you're adding and put it in the comments(a picture is worth a 1000 words). Don't get me wrong I like the story so don't take any of this as discouragement just trying to hopefully help you refine the story a bit more

Related Stories

GOT/ASOIAF: Son of the Unworthy

Waking up to find you have died and are being given a second chance at life can be disorientating. Finding out you have been sent to a world you have seen on TV can be even more so. Being sent before the events of the show by a good 100 years is only the icing on the cake when you have to deal with being an infant with the mind of an 18-year-old. Things are off to a rough start but Aerion Targaryen will give it his best to live the best second life he can. Alright, that is the introduction, this is a Fan Fic of a person of our time who finished all of the Game of Thrones tv show. He is thrown into the body of a Stillborn infant who is the son of Aegon the Unworthy by his legal wife. This is the same Stillborn who was the twin brother to Daenerys who married into Dorne to bring them into the 7 kingdoms, it's a canon still born I didn't BS this one into existence. MC is going to have a heavy satire start that is meant more as a joke than anything else because this story is for fun. I repeat this story is for fun and I won't pull random bull crap from my hat too much but I won't take it as seriously as my other GoT fic. MC does not know the lore of the world and is a casual fan so when he says something stupid it is his own take, not mine. Keep that in mind. Oh, Daenerys Stormborn the mother of dragons is also reborn into the Daenerys who is his twin. I did it for fun and also because I thought it would be a fun twist. She was stabbed in the heart by Jon Snow and wakes up in the body of her namesake as an Infant. Cool concept.

Pretending_Author ยท Book&Literature
4.4
130 Chs

Game of Thrones: The Legend of Jon Arctic โ€“ ASOIAF/GOT GOT

Jon Snow, a boy destined for a life of contempt by almost everyone around him, but a divine intervention can change everything. The boy who will pave the way to build the most powerful nation in the world. I crafted this story with a focus on the creation of a kingdom, battles, economy, navigation, and exploration of the entire universe of Planetos, with a central character in mind. Am I wealthy? The Stormlands, Dorne, the Reach, and the Westerlands all want to establish trade agreements with me. And the East? I have trade agreements with Braavos, Pentos, Myr, Tyrosh, Lys, and Volantis. I can negotiate with everyone in Essos, except in the Slaver's Bay after I stole 100,000 chained men from them. So, do you have enemies in Essos? About that? I indeed have quite a few. I started by stealing slaves from them, then raised a khalasar and began a bloodbath in the Dothraki Sea for fun. I was even named a Khal in Vaes Dothrak. Not to mention, the last time I went to Essos, I toppled the Titan's statue in Braavos. They wanted to stop me from destroying the House of Black and White. That day wasn't very pleasant for the Braavosi. Wow, and the kingdoms below the Wall? The Wall? It no longer exists; I brought it down a while ago. I took the North as part of my kingdom and left the South of the Neck to the Southerners. They tried to reclaim the kingdom, but now the Southerners tremble when they feel my armies on their lands. I've personally killed one or two of their kings. Really? Yes, ask what's left of Oldtown. I would answer, it turned to ashes. Lannisport? I burned it. Casterly Rock? It's at the bottom of the sea. The Twins? I blew up the entire place. King's Landing? The city is standing, but the Red Keep is history. -------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. ---------------------------------------------- With gratitude and enthusiasm, Raccoon! And your raccoon welcomes you to the Raccoon League! An exploration across different universes, be prepared for adventure! With over 1 million words published! ---- Current explorations: One Piece: I am a Different Luffy! (7 Chapters/Week) Danmachi: Infinite Mana System! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: The Legend of Jon Artica! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Light Ninja! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Minato Namikase SI! (3 Chapters/Week) The Witcher: As Uchiha Madara! (3 Chapters/Week) HP: Shadow Monarch! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: DragonBorn! (1 Chapter/Week) ---- Explore the Unexplored! Become an exclusive supporter on Patreon and unlock advanced chapters -> RaccoonLeague | Patreon https://www.patreon.com/RaccoonLeague

RaccoonLeague ยท Book&Literature
4.6
176 Chs