Review Detail of Nikita_Ragimov in Harem in a Labyrinth
Review detail
I've read up to chapter 26 so far. Gotta know, the idea for a fanfic isn't bad, but the MC's interactions with the world are just... empty. MC frankly simp for Roxanne, and in a bad way. It makes me cringe in shame at times. "Roxanne is my woman. My slave!" Who even talks like that? Even if Roxanne is objectively beautiful and has a nice personality, it doesn't mean that a person should act like a fan who gets the opportunity to date their idol. Well, for now I'll stop there, but if nothing changes in the future, then I'm afraid the fanfic will slide into another tasteless fulfillment of the author's innermost desires on paper.
Harem in a Labyrinth
Avi2112
Liked by 15 people
LIKEReplies5
Nikita_Ragimov:I must say right away that I have no negative thoughts in relation to you as an author of fanfiction. It's just that the whole MC thought process makes me cringe and question what I'm wasting my time on) In general, I simply cannot help but perceive this fanfic as a story about the fulfillment of desires - And fanfiction does its job very tastelessly. Inexperience in work also makes a significant contribution, since so far there has not been a single interesting character or event on the pages. So far, everything feels banal and empty - MC, Roxanne (and her ever-swaying breasts - who have received almost as much attention as the girl herself) everyone else. Literally not one PERSON deserving attention. Secondary nature and the absence of any kind of intrigue is the path to a bad story. And while I know it's a bad idea to demand a lot from random free fanfiction off the internet, I'd still like to get a taste of something good. And there MAY be something good, but I haven't seen any improvement in the chapters I've read. Again, I'm not trying to discourage you - practice, work and think about how to make your story better. (without fanaticism of course) It is quite possible that in the future you will have a really good book.
Thank you for reading! Umm and the MC never talked like that you know. I am presenting his thoughts on paper that's why it gets like that. And srsly he has never said that you are my slave to roxanne , he has never even treated her like a slave. I can't get where you are coming from at all. Still thank you for reading.
And Roxanne was his waifu so obviously he is gonna simp for her and treat her like an idol, she is not just a normal girl she is her dream come to life, it would be weird if he treated her just like some other girl. Like I am feeling you are comparing their relationship to a normal bf gf one which is not what's going on here at all. I am sorry for replying again, your review is just baffling to me. đ
I must say right away that I have no negative thoughts in relation to you as an author of fanfiction. It's just that the whole MC thought process makes me cringe and question what I'm wasting my time on) In general, I simply cannot help but perceive this fanfic as a story about the fulfillment of desires - And fanfiction does its job very tastelessly. Inexperience in work also makes a significant contribution, since so far there has not been a single interesting character or event on the pages. So far, everything feels banal and empty - MC, Roxanne (and her ever-swaying breasts - who have received almost as much attention as the girl herself) everyone else. Literally not one PERSON deserving attention. Secondary nature and the absence of any kind of intrigue is the path to a bad story. And while I know it's a bad idea to demand a lot from random free fanfiction off the internet, I'd still like to get a taste of something good. And there MAY be something good, but I haven't seen any improvement in the chapters I've read. Again, I'm not trying to discourage you - practice, work and think about how to make your story better. (without fanaticism of course) It is quite possible that in the future you will have a really good book.
Avi2112:Thank you for reading! Umm and the MC never talked like that you know. I am presenting his thoughts on paper that's why it gets like that. And srsly he has never said that you are my slave to roxanne , he has never even treated her like a slave. I can't get where you are coming from at all. Still thank you for reading.
