While overall good I think it has some flaws. Before I start to dog on the author I wanna say that the grammer is good and so are the fights. It seems to have a direction it wants to go in as well. (I hope). I think the romance main lead is fine too. -(little bit of spoilers but not really)- But, her powerups don’t really sense to me. Like she says she developed a new healing glyph because Jess was a genius and stuided medical textbooks in her free time, but Weiss is also a genius in her own right. So I would assume that adding healing to her powers would be something she already tried and couldn’t do. It’s not like Jesses worlds tec was better because remnant is at the same tec level so they would have the same level of medical advasment. Also her semblance is passed down from dna, your telling me no one eles tried this? The barrier power makes more sense (although still far fetched) because she got the idea from an anime and it’s original. -spoilers below if you care- Taking over the company also entirely gets rid of the reason she is even going to becon in first place, now her reason for leaving her home are flimsy at best because her father no has power over her. Also getting the scar was kinda stupid too, like I can get being traumatize so she just freezes like a deer in headlights, but her aura just doesn’t do anything? It’s supposed protect you even when you don’t actually try to protect yourself. If she didn’t have aura she shouldn’t have her semblance ether.
Liked it!
LIKEI wrote this review at like chapter 14 I think but after writing I decided to skim through the rest of the chapters to see if I missed something or if the story got better and after reading to like ch 20 or so it kinda sucks. The author added pyrra to the love Interests (why bother even having a vote then?) and harem almost always sucks. The story is mainly the same with the only changes being the dialogue, and the changes to the dialogue being Weiss trying to flirt badly at ruby and pyraa, and shes nicer I guess. I think the author did John right tho, he was cute and awkward like usual.
Thanks for the 3 stars and you were right I forgot about Aura when writing that scene I just wanted her to still have the scar. When I think of her I think of white hair, crown thing on her head, and scar so I wanted her to still have that look. Now for her decision for beacon it's not just Weiss anymore it's also Jess who wants to be apart of team Rwby and be the W in Rwby. I don't know about you but if I got into my favorite anime I would want to be apart of the main cast instead of trying to go alone especially when Salem is going to go to Atlas eventually because of the relic. I forgot what else was written so I'll write a part 2 of breaking down the review after I reread it.
Aha, the glyphs so for the glyphs what I was thinking was sure they could have attempted it but the problem would be that their aura/soul wouldn't be strong enough sure they can have a lot like Jaune but it wouldn't be dense or powerful enough to do what Weiss is doing in this Ff. The only reason it's possible is because as I said before it's not just weiss it's both Weiss and Jess making their aura/soul denser and stronger than the average hunter letting her do what no other schnee has been able to do before.
Also, flirting has always seemed like a cringe thing to me but I didn't just want them to start dating out of nowhere so that's why it's there. Now the vote was for me to see your guy's opinion but at the end of the day it's me writing something that I'm satisfied with since that's the reason why I started this FF in the first place for myself. That doesn't mean that future votes are useless it just lets me see what you guys think and even give me helpful opinions/ideas of your own.
Real, this is your fic so do what you want
Nyx_nom:Also, flirting has always seemed like a cringe thing to me but I didn't just want them to start dating out of nowhere so that's why it's there. Now the vote was for me to see your guy's opinion but at the end of the day it's me writing something that I'm satisfied with since that's the reason why I started this FF in the first place for myself. That doesn't mean that future votes are useless it just lets me see what you guys think and even give me helpful opinions/ideas of your own.
