actually this is good but the thing i dislike is the trials he has to go through because I see it as brainwashing why must he know the meaning of hero to breakthrough the 2nd lock or why must he save people to breakthrough. i thought the first trial said that no one should know his identity while saving people in the shadows but Anastasia knows his identity so how did he pass the trial. another thing is that people just surrender themselves to him just because he has a pressure of a evil god or that his fate can't be read to me it seems like he gathering a harem.
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I like that you have a keen sense. You actually noticed an important aspect of the story so early on, kudos to you. About the identity aspect, As long as he didn't expose his identity, nothing would happen. People can naturally guess, I mean, Arthur and Nadia aren't stupid but Arthur was sensible enough to know it's a trial so naturally didn't dare to acknowledge it.There's a difference between knowing and acknowledging something.And about the talk of harem, there's no harem. I clearly placed it in the tags, No-Harem and I intend to keep it that way. I despise Harem in any case.Lastly, about the way people react due to the authority he wields, it doesn't always warrant good reactions. Read further and you'll find out.Anyway, I thought it better to give a detailed response because I actually like the fact that you figured out an important plot point early on in the story. All in all, thanks for giving my work a chance and I hope it wasn't a complete disappointment.
My problem with this is she had no reason to ‘guess’ his identity, you just made her know that information. Even if you hate harem it’s still harem-isk being surrounded by girls and almost makig every important character a pussycat. There is no male character that is important it’s all about the females and what they do with the mc. If the mc is the only character than it’s a harem it doesn’t have to be romantic to be harem, harem is suffocating the reader with females and making the only man the mc, or more accurately the most important male, the rest are forgotten
_DreamWeaver:I like that you have a keen sense. You actually noticed an important aspect of the story so early on, kudos to you. About the identity aspect, As long as he didn't expose his identity, nothing would happen. People can naturally guess, I mean, Arthur and Nadia aren't stupid but Arthur was sensible enough to know it's a trial so naturally didn't dare to acknowledge it.There's a difference between knowing and acknowledging something.And about the talk of harem, there's no harem. I clearly placed it in the tags, No-Harem and I intend to keep it that way. I despise Harem in any case.Lastly, about the way people react due to the authority he wields, it doesn't always warrant good reactions. Read further and you'll find out.Anyway, I thought it better to give a detailed response because I actually like the fact that you figured out an important plot point early on in the story. All in all, thanks for giving my work a chance and I hope it wasn't a complete disappointment.
I don't know which "she" you are referring to so I'll just tackle both Nadia and Ana.For Nadia, it's not like she knew, it was mostly Arthur that knew but chose not to overthink it.For Ana, She has already seen Alex use Evernight and Cryptids are closer to Aether than humans, which means unique situations like Alex where aether becomes a jumbled mess, she'd be able to link it with him and yes, he is the first that forcibly dominates aether instead of trying to form a balance with it like every other Mystic.So I won't say she just 'knew'... But I guess I should have considered adding all these into the story.Well, hope it didn't ruin the experience much, still learning as a writer everyday.
sennun:My problem with this is she had no reason to ‘guess’ his identity, you just made her know that information. Even if you hate harem it’s still harem-isk being surrounded by girls and almost makig every important character a pussycat. There is no male character that is important it’s all about the females and what they do with the mc. If the mc is the only character than it’s a harem it doesn’t have to be romantic to be harem, harem is suffocating the reader with females and making the only man the mc, or more accurately the most important male, the rest are forgotten
And about the harem, there is no harem.Arthur, Ambrose, Basar... these are important male characters.If you have gotten to the second arc, Damian and Crow Mask are also important characters.As for people that Alex surrounds himself with, it's only Nadia that actually follows him so far, the others aren't even shown for the entirety of the second arc.With future arcs and volumes, more male characters will be introduced and if we really want to start saying that there are too many women in Alex's team compared to men, then, please, Klein from LOTM has more women than men in his Tarot Club, the only thing is that Cuttlefish took his time to introduce each character. Same with Deep Sea Embers, more women than men on the Vanished.There's just something about surrounding your MC with more guys than girls that seems wrong to readers and since this work follows in the footsteps of my predecessors in the steampunk genre on WN, why should I deviate?So as I've said before, no harem and that's on period 😇
sennun:My problem with this is she had no reason to ‘guess’ his identity, you just made her know that information. Even if you hate harem it’s still harem-isk being surrounded by girls and almost makig every important character a pussycat. There is no male character that is important it’s all about the females and what they do with the mc. If the mc is the only character than it’s a harem it doesn’t have to be romantic to be harem, harem is suffocating the reader with females and making the only man the mc, or more accurately the most important male, the rest are forgotten
