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HardenedWood
HardenedWoodLv21yr
2023-12-09 23:18

Overall, well written, the author has an immense talent at making intriguing characters with well developed backstories and does well using the canon characters, however, so far (I’ve read till the end of chapter 12), there’s been developments that makes the main protagonist evil. Considering the literal only tag indicating that is the “dark” tag which doesn’t say alot, took me off guard, and really lowered my opinion of the character so far. I’m not sure if the serial killer aspect of this character is from the COTE World, or from his past world, since I’m not that far in, but I hope it is. What the MC did to Suzune was completely unnecessary, it may be because I haven’t gone far in, but right after ‘breaking’ her, she acts completely fine, and insulting her and sexually assaulting her was completely unnecessary, the guy had ample leverage in the form of her being expelled, and really didn’t need to do any more then that and maybe a few insults to lower her arrogance, and show why she’s in Class D. He was completely fine before this segment came to be and it was infinitely strange to read such a shift with such a lack of build up, they had already made up at the cafe, Honestly, add a few tags that describe him as an evil character, because how he acts in these few chapters, the earlier chapters don’t show him being a serial killer, and I understand the layers and acts that COTE characters tend to use, but I didn’t feel that before, they’re like two different characters inhabiting the same body, I didn’t come into this wanting to read a evil Protag, I need to be in a certain spiteful mood for those kinds of stories, so this was disappointing, hope the author continues, and possibly rewrites this segment. Everything before this was pretty fantastic, and a COTE story in and off itself as a concept is great.

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Jomby
JombyAuthor

Yes, I do understand where you're coming from. And yes, I'm on the process of re writing this entire fic.. So don't worry I'll try to fix it soon.At the time of writing this, I imagined Horikita being submissive to the main character and I needed a reason. This just happened to be one. And now that I've developed the story accordingly, I'm having a hard time coming up with a plot that makes her that cooperative. But let's see what the future me comes up with.

HardenedWood
HardenedWoodLv2

Hey, I’m glad to hear this will continue! It really was only the later chapters I read that I have a problem with, since it felt like it came from nowhere. I had expected darkness since there’s a tag and it’s an COTE fic, but I hadn’t expected it from the muted but overall amicable character I had read but instead from someone like Ayanokoji. So, I have a suggestion that I believe would make this better, but of course, feel free to not use it if you don’t wish to, just add a few tags, like Sadistic Protag and Evil Protag, and I’ll be good in that case. My suggestion is to change the murderer background to be his COTE background rather than his past life’s one, gaining the help of the principle to change his name and rebuild a new life away from that women, while his past life was the one where he’s muted, maybe have some similarities, but instead of being picked up by that evil women he gets saved and adopted into a new family, befriending the women in the first chapter, before dying in front of her. Then, when the two people that are definitely similar but went through different circumstances in two different worlds merge, the first life’s consciousness suppresses the first, because of the COTE’s consciousness being disgusted and depressed about himself, but, during moments of distress, he feels influenced by that side of him, making him go completely blank and purely logical, like a cold fury. I think it’d be interesting to see the MC’s reaction to how his other life went, through nightmarish glimpses of his current life’s memories, how he could’ve been just like him if influenced by someone else, how disgusted both parts of him are to what he became in this world, and how he will become better. Essentially, a good but muted person entering the body of a psychopath that was saved by the principle and put in class d, getting nightmares of a mirror of what he could have and did become, and deciding to help his class as a sort of redemption. How he can see himself in Ayanokoji so he decides to try to help him not think of everyone as tools, while trying to surpass and bring a sense of fairness to a school filled with unfairness, where he’s willing to do anything but will try to actively choose a harder but nicer option to redeem himself, but not all the time, only to those he believes deserves to improve. A few examples of this would be allowing the class to fall, to use around half of their points as a wake up call, but feel bad about it, and lie saying he only just found out when revealing it, while confiding in Ayanokoji and Suzune that he did that so they would treat the school seriously. Like when he stole those points from those bullies, they don’t deserve him trying to redeem himself, but that bully guy in his class would, because he’s in his class and subsequently a part of his goal of getting the class to the top. But when it comes to Suzune, when she tries to stab him, he could grab her hand, knowing it was a stupid mistake, and explaining where that injury could lead, I liked how he acted like he discovered she’s the council president’s brother, and I think it’d be much more compelling to try to convince her (or make her think it’s her idea) to improve the class and become a subsequent leader of it, rather then blackmail her so unnecessarily, not that I hated the blackmail there, she was in the wrong for trying to stab him, but I do think he went too far with it in trying to break her. Like, I think this fits a lot better in COTE rather then our world, an evil women taking in orphans to be trained has already an established equal in the white room, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume the same happened again, it also explains where his developed physique came from, which wouldn’t make sense unless the same events happened in both worlds, which seems less interesting to me. (1/2)

Jomby:Yes, I do understand where you're coming from. And yes, I'm on the process of re writing this entire fic.. So don't worry I'll try to fix it soon.At the time of writing this, I imagined Horikita being submissive to the main character and I needed a reason. This just happened to be one. And now that I've developed the story accordingly, I'm having a hard time coming up with a plot that makes her that cooperative. But let's see what the future me comes up with.
Jomby
JombyAuthor

OH MY GOD! THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD PLOT! Really, I'm being serious! I'll definitely use some parts of this! Thank you so much for this!

HardenedWood
HardenedWoodLv2

Haha, no problem, glad you like them! I’ll definitely be eagerly awaiting this continuing (but don’t worry, I completely understand if you don’t have the time or motivation! While I prefer regular updates, Some of my favourite stores are ones that are updated pretty casually, once a week or even once every couple of months, once every five months, etc basically there are people that can wait for great stories, any readers that may leave will always have a chance to come back as long as they like it <3)

Jomby:OH MY GOD! THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD PLOT! Really, I'm being serious! I'll definitely use some parts of this! Thank you so much for this!
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