Wow! The way you open your stories, is powerful with lots of pace. The action is engaging and just draws in the reader. This is what a good book should be, really enjoyable and not a struggle to read. However the beautiful flow of your story is interrupted by mistakes of tense, and expression. I will give an example in chapter1 where you say,"fastened their movement...", You could have said hastened or quickened, fastened has to do with tightening and not movement. Apart from the errors, your stories are powerfully and well plotted.
Little_BlackHorse
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