webnovel
LazyCaveman
LazyCavemanLv141yr
2023-06-17 16:07

I am to say the least, disapointed. I loved the original even with all of its flaws, it was well written, barely any grammer or punctuation mistakes, and the story and characters felt alive. When I heard there was going to be a rewrite I was not happy to say the least but I added this story and let the chapters build up, now that I’ve read this I’m disapointed that the quality of the story when it comes to grammer, punctuation, and characters have gone down hill. I’m still going to read it but I wanted to air my grievances

Blood And Iron (ASOIAF/GoT)

Chill_ean_GUY
4.7
237 Chs

Liked by 9 people

LIKE
Replies4
Chill_ean_GUY
Chill_ean_GUYAuthor

Regarding grammar and punctuation, it's because I'm currently busier and have less time to dedicate to the chapters compared to before. Previously, each chapter took about 6 hours to complete, including writing the translation and editing. Now, I only have three hours since I've been considering addressing these issues during my vacation in August and editing everything. As for the characters, I would appreciate it if you could share your opinion on what bothers you, as I have been portraying them as they generally are: gray or in a gray scale

1yr
2
LazyCaveman
LazyCavemanLv14

I understand the time constraint, but the charecter dialogue is pretty bland, while it’s a decent base, you need to add more descriptive words and inflections to the dialogue, instead of just a wall of words give them more mannerisms and things like that, describe facial expressions, tone all of those kind of things. Keep up the great work though!

Chill_ean_GUY:Regarding grammar and punctuation, it's because I'm currently busier and have less time to dedicate to the chapters compared to before. Previously, each chapter took about 6 hours to complete, including writing the translation and editing. Now, I only have three hours since I've been considering addressing these issues during my vacation in August and editing everything. As for the characters, I would appreciate it if you could share your opinion on what bothers you, as I have been portraying them as they generally are: gray or in a gray scale
1yr
9
layidem126
layidem126Lv1

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9mth
king_of_kings666
king_of_kings666Lv4

layidem126:We invite you to trade crypto with leverage of up to 100x. With $100, if the coin increases by 1%, you would gain 100%, or $100, effectively doubling your capital to $200 in a single trade. most coins typically moves up or down by 1% more than 50 times a day on average. On regular days, you have more than 50 opportunities to double your money. On trending days, like August 5, 2024, when many crypto coins dropped by 20%, trading with 100x leverage could yield a profit of 2000%, or 20 times your capital. No registration is needed. No identity verification or KYC is required. Just trade. This decentralized exchange has processed over $200 billion in trading volume. Let’s trade and make your dreams come true. dub.sh/trading
6mth
Other Reviews
JohnnyReever
JohnnyReeverLv5

The story idea is good . The author really needs to learn when and where to use quotation marks. He uses them for every paragraph.

1yr

SirFawzi
SirFawziLv4

This fanfic is good-----------------------------------------------------------Chapters update schedule is stable and not inconsistent, the grammar is good and the writing is not annoying, the characters are well written and not boring(my favourite character is the Finn), the story is interesting and entertaining, the author is willing to listen to good suggestions and answers questions and he is doing his best to make it realistic so no forced plot or unrealistic gains and wins, the MC has flaws and is not perfect which shows the characters being put to good use as advisors and not just being put there to be amazed and awed.-----------------------------------------------------------Overall nice story, its one of my favourite fanfics good job author 👍

1yr
Carlos_Balbizan
Carlos_BalbizanLv1

It would be a good story if there really was a sense of protagonism. Splitting the POVs by centering other people's point of view to take up more than 80% of the story is disastrous... No need for other people's POVs when this can be solved simply with third person POV, the author seems to want merge the concept of a novel with something like a book or movie, where there is not really a centralization of the characters in most cases. At least that's the point of view of someone who wouldn't even be able to identify the protagonist if the first 3 chapters are removed...

1yr
Chill_ean_GUY
Chill_ean_GUYAuthor

Hi, guys, here is the author, as I said I will continue with the story but I will rewrite it and add more chapters, as always I am open to your comments as I am always looking to improve, please leave your reviews as sincere as possible I don't care if it is the minimum grade, 5 stars because I am an shameless author.

2yr
Tales_de_Mileto
Tales_de_MiletoLv1

Reveal spoiler

1yr
Naviation
NaviationLv2

The story idea is good . The writing has improved a little. but a few huge inconsistencies are a bit problematic. N1: how come everybody just accepted the fact that they just switched worlds. not even one character missed his family or his hometown. Also how old is wilhem he was 7 at the begining but we dont how muchttime passe from then is he 37 because he fought in the 30 years world or more, it's pretty important info that is missing or i missed it maybe. there are othert issues but i don't to be too negative it's still worth giving it a chance.

1yr
Mr_Secrecy
Mr_SecrecyLv4

I really like this story, its one of my favorites story from webnovel. The only problem i have is with the stability of uploading new chapters.

1yr
Febfew
FebfewLv11

Reveal spoiler

2yr
PAX69
PAX69Lv10

I really wanted to give it 5 stars but there are certain things that really bother me about the story. I read it up to chapter 28. The protagonist doesn't even appear in the story properly, like he doesn't have any feats or dialogue that makes us readers like him. The protagonist is insignificant in the story because he doesn't have any moments that the protagonist has. Another thing I hate about this story is how the author portrayed the protagonist's army as much more intelligent, strong and perfect, while all the people of Westeros are dumb. It took a lot of the fun out of the story. I don't know if I'll be able to continue reading if this isn't fixed.

7mth
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