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pooyan1061
pooyan1061Lv11yr
2023-06-23 17:37

I love kingdom building and AU, so the main story idea is very good, although in my opinion, this story have few problem. 1- too much jump in timeline, it is like somebody took a novel and each time randomly post a chapter. you don't know you are reading start middle or the end of it. 2- each chapter or scene change must have a time and location title, to help understand what to expect from environment. 3-too much focus on side stories , how many chapter are spent on sea journey and kidnapping and ... are they main focus of story? I think all could have been a flash back in maybe half of chapter if it affects MC story. I already forgot the where we were before this side story began.

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eienaimfj8281
eienaimfj8281Lv12

dementia đź’€

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