webnovel
DaisukiDayoSenpai
DaisukiDayoSenpaiLv121yr
2023-03-27 08:58

I could see the passion of the author when it comes to the novel. However, there are a couple of things to improve on such as grammar as well as storytelling. A couple of tweaks here and there should do the work, and also, having an editor or simply using using Grammarly would help out a lot when it comes to writing. Keep up the good work ^-^

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
SupremeDaoist2
SupremeDaoist2Author

THANKS FOR ADVICE BRO

Other Reviews
B_DRAG
B_DRAGLv14

Having delved into the first few chapters of this book, I must say that I am generally impressed with the author's storytelling abilities. However, there are a few areas that could benefit from some attention and refinement.First and foremost, the book does contain a handful of grammatical errors. While these mistakes are not overly abundant, they are noticeable enough to occasionally distract the reader. A thorough proofreading could easily remedy this issue, allowing the audience to become fully immersed in the story without any hiccups.Additionally, I believe the author could improve the overall reading experience by focusing more on the vividness and clarity of scene descriptions. By fleshing out the details and painting a more complete picture, the author can ensure that every reader, regardless of their background or imagination, can easily visualize and understand the events unfolding in the story.Despite these areas for improvement, I must commend the author on the many aspects of this book that are truly captivating. The characters are intriguing, the pacing is well-balanced, and the plot shows great promise. With some fine-tuning, I have no doubt that this book will become a must-read for fans of the genre.In conclusion, this book offers an engaging journey that keeps readers hooked, but it would benefit from some polishing in terms of grammar and scene descriptions. I am optimistic that the author will continue to hone their craft in subsequent chapters and eagerly await the twists and turns that lie ahead.

Related Stories

Claimed And Marked By Her Stepbrother Mates

"Let me take a look." The handsome professor, with his broad shoulders and powerful muscles, lifted me effortlessly and placed me on the desk. His strong hands gently lowered the strap of my uniform to examine the bruise from training. "Helanie! Why do you always end up hurt?" His voice grew husky, sending a shiver down my spine as I struggled to catch my breath. I had to remind myself that he’s my professor... and my stepbrother. I shouldn’t be seduced by his touch. "If anyone bullies you again, come to my office and I will deal with them," he murmured, his beautiful eyes locking onto mine. Despite knowing he’s forbidden, I couldn’t help but wonder—should I tell him about the mate bond I felt the night he was drunk? .. When her parents rejected each other, Helanie went from being her daddy's angel to a neglected and forgotten child. But on her eighteenth birthday, things took a dark turn. When her body went into heat, she attracted a group of alphas. Instead of rescuing her, her secret alpha boyfriend ran away. That night changed Helanie’s life forever. Accused of consenting to the attack, she was sentenced to execution by her own pack. Desperate, she fled, determined to find her mother. What she didn’t expect was to find her mother preparing to marry a rogue king with four dangerously handsome and beastly sons. Things turn even darker when she felt a mate bond with her bully stepbrothers, will she be able to escape their claws or their seduction will ruin her life to next extremes? .. Facebook - Alexis Dee

AlexisDee · Fantasy
4.2
248 Chs

Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

Eighteen-year-old Trinity is unlike any other werewolf in her pack. For one, there were unusual circumstances surrounding her birth, for another, she is the only pack member to never shift into a wolf form. So now she doesn't quite belong anywhere. Not quite human and not quite wolf. She thought she would be able to live her life how she wanted when she had turned eighteen. Go to college, make some friends, have some fun. But what is she to do when the dangerously sexy Alpha literally falls right into her lap? "I am not human, and I am not a wolf. I don't belong anywhere..." "...we both know that no one is going to mate with me, and even if they did, they would just reject me anyway." What is the sexy, brooding Alpha going to do? The elders are making him hold these ridiculous parties to search for a mate. He doesn't want a mate, but he knows he needs a mate to finish the Alpha Circle. Without a mate, a Luna for the pack, his people would suffer. And what is he going to do when he stumbles across the girl that fate has chosen for him and he finds out she has no wolf? "This cannot be!" I roared. "There is no way that I can mate with a girl that does not even have a wolf. She will be too weak. She will be inferior. She will not be strong enough to be a Luna." "I simply could not accept her as my mate. Not fully. It wasn't safe for her. She would get herself killed. And she would bring my pack down with her." When these two meet, sparks will surely fly. But will it be from passion, or their constant fighting? Neither of them wanted a mate. Neither of them wants the mate that fate chose for them. And neither of them can make that mate bond go away. What are they going to do now that they're literally stuck with each other? ***Rating Warning*** Adult Language Violence Strong Sexual Content THIS BOOK IS UNDERDER AN EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT AND IT IS NOT TO BE POSTED OR PUBLISHED ANYWHERE ELSE. Follow me to find my other books or ask me question, thanks for reading!!! FOLLOW ME AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK https://discord.gg/8wrYgHqemB https://twitter.com/DCinMI https://www.facebook.com/deni.chance.71 https://www.instagram.com/dcinmi87/ ***COVER ART IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF THE AUTHOR AND WAS ILLUSTRATED BY VICTORIA DAYEN OF MSPUGLUVER'S ART***

Deni_Chance · Fantasy
4.8
1197 Chs

Defy The Alpha(s)

Two centuries after the Great War, peace between humans and werewolves was finally achieved, or so everyone believes. Werewolves reign like gods, and humans remain blissfully unaware of their true place in the new world order. To maintain this fragile balance, each year, a handful of "lucky" humans are selected from various districts to attend Lunaris Academy, a prestigious institution that promises glory, status, and a chance to mingle with the elite. Those chosen are hailed as the lucky few, destined to marry powerful alphas and rise as luna. This year, Violet Purple is among the chosen, much to everyone's surprise. For an orphaned girl adopted by a disgraced prostitute, this is a golden ticket to a better life or so she's told. But Lunaris Academy isn’t the paradise it’s painted to be. Everything Violet and her fellow humans have been taught is a lie. Humans are far from equal; they're pawns in a much larger game. The academy is nothing but a gilded cage, and the students are lambs led to slaughter, playthings for the alphas to toy with in their ruthless games. To make matters worse, Violet catches the attention of the most dangerous players in this game, the Terror Four: the Alpha of the North, Alpha of the South, Alpha of the East, and Alpha of the West. Each one is more dangerous, more twisted, and more powerful than the last. But even among themselves, the alphas are divided, each with their own deadly ambitions. Yet, they all have their eyes on her. They expect Violet to play along, to fall in line like the others who worship at their feet, to break under their games. But Violet isn’t like the others. She refuses to bow. She’ll defy them all. *********** With a grin that made her uneasy, he handed the application to her. “Approve this one.” Principal Jameson’s curiosity got the better of her as she took the paper from him, her eyes scanning the text. Almost immediately, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening in disbelief. “What the...?” “It’s perfect, isn’t it?” Asher’s voice was almost gleeful. Fucking psychopath! Jameson could hardly believe what she was reading. “Mr. Nightshade, with all due respect, this applicant….this girl just admitted to—” She couldn’t even finish the sentence, still horrified at the explicit nature of the application. Taking a deep breath, she continued, “I’m sorry, but I cannot approve this.” “She’s issued me a challenge,” Archer said, a dark gleam in his eyes. “What?” “‘Wait till you see me in bed,’” he repeated the bold line from the application, his grin widening. “And I can’t wait to find out.” “Mr. Nightshade—” He stood up, cutting off her protest as he fixed her with an intense stare. “Approve the application. I won’t ask again.” Without waiting for her response, Asher strode out of the office, confident she would follow his orders. He always got what he wanted. Archer Nightshade walked down the hall, a spring in his step. For the first time in a long while, he felt alive, his blood pulsing with excitement. The other Cardinal Alphas had no idea what he was up to, but it would soon hit them. He’d just set the game in motion. And the target was Violet Purple. It was game on. Note : This is not your average werewolf story. Eveything you think you know about werewolves would be challenged in this book. And yes, it is reverse harem. Do give the book a try.

Glimmy · Fantasy
4.7
116 Chs

You‘re Just My Ex-Husband,My Lord

Before they got married, Laurent already knew that Dave Washington had another woman in his heart, yet she still chose to marry him because Dave had always been the one she loved. She loved Dave, but his heart belonged to another woman. It was said that this woman loved another man, who happened to be Dave's illegitimate half-brother. Laurent believed that having a child would secure their shaky marriage. Until one day, the woman Dave loved finally told him, "Actually, the person I love is you." Laurent had devoted her youth and energy to this sensational and messy love story, only to helplessly watch it collapse. Heartbroken, she chose to divorce. She thought Dave's infidelity would make her easily give up on the house, car, and property during the divorce, with the only request being custody of their daughter. But to her surprise, Dave insisted that she was unfit to raise their daughter and refused to give her custody. In order to fight for her daughter, she embarked on a long and exhausting legal battle. She said to him, "You're so persistent—aren't you worried your lover is waiting for you anxiously?" Dave smiled and replied, "If you have time to worry about her, you might as well get a new lawyer." In a fit of rage, she threw a cup of water in his face. "Dave Washington, you're despicable!" Yes, every lawyer she hired was bought off by him with large sums of money. Finally, disheartened, she gave up custody of their daughter and decided to leave the country to heal. But he sent someone to intercept her at the airport...

c_l_dd · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
88 Chs

Omega's Rebirth

What was worse than death itself? Well it was dying knowing that no one would miss you, knowing that your death was a favour to everyone you ever knew. This was exactly how I felt the day I died. I was the love child of the Eclipse Alpha King, in a time where the mate bond was considered sacred, a child born out of wedlock was nothing short of sacrilegious... 'It was his fault, he loved someone other than his mate...' 'It was his fault, he had carnal knowledge of a human woman.' 'It was all his fault, my only crime was being born out of his lust.' But why was that Alpha King father of mine perfectly safe, while I was hated, scorned and blamed for everything instead? Why did I have to be my father's bargaining chip, used to achieve his goals? Why could I not get a rejection like everyone else but was instead murdered by my own mate? Why was I killed before I even had a chance to live? I had a thousand questions and yet there was no one to answer and this was exactly how I died... So why then did my eyes flutter open to that day, a month before my death? Was it because of my little secret? A secret I will tell no one else but you... From the title of my tale, you must think I am an omega wolf... No, you got it wrong... I am not an Omega wolf, I am an Alpha wolf and my name is Omega. ~Second Book in the Werewolf Rebirth Series. *Not a prequel or sequel to 'The Alpha King's Nemesis', both books are not related save for the world setting and Werewolf Rebirth concept. *Cover art sourced from the internet, all credits to the original artist.*

JHeart · Fantasy
4.7
735 Chs

The Masked Vampire King's Accidental Bride

(Mature content R-18+ Contains gore, no second woman drama or rape.) My love sees no end, no right or wrong. Because when I love I want you to be mine as much as I am yours - Angelina Bhardawaj ~~~~~~ "I told you I want to ruin you," he cupped her jaws while pinning her to the wall. "And you have done enough. Now I am leaving," she snapped back. "You didn't get my words, Princess," he sneered coldly. "When I say I want to ruin you, I want to bind you to my bed and fill you till your scent becomes one with me and every fucking person in this world knows who you are... That you are fucking mine!" He slammed her into the wall, kissing her passionately. ~~~~~~ Elliana Heart, the illegitimate daughter of the King of Heart Moon City with the hunter bloodline only wants one thing in her life; to know and meet her biological mom. Innocent and beautiful, Elliana is often a victim of her stepmother's and stepsister's plots.  Sebastian Marino, the infamous masked Vampire Prince, has suffered nothing but hatred from everyone around him. Everyone fears him since he has a power not to be reckoned with. After serving in prison for one year on behalf of her stepsister, Elliana is surprised to get bailed. However, her happiness is cut short when she finds out she is to marry the vampire Prince in her stepsister's place. Elliana knows nothing about the vampires, and Sebastian hates everything that comes with those evil humans.  What would she do when she gets married to the named monster of the dark world who takes and hunts without mercy? "Are you not curious about what I look like?" He grabbed her chin painfully. "Reveal your face to me when you trust me," she smiled softly. 'That's never going to happen,' Sebastian thought. To him, she was nothing more than a tool to get his revenge on the humans. To her, he was more than everything she laid her eyes on, even more than the truth of her existence. There is a power even bigger and more powerful than anything and that power is called fate. Will they be able to fight their fates to stay together or succumb to it and lose it all? The story of the deadliest witch disguised as a human and the most dangerous prodigy prince who survives on vampire blood. Disclaimer- The book is built around magical world and pure fantasy. The romance will make you feel butterflies in the stomach while some scenes might have you question sanity around love. The first 50 chapters will build the world around the book. I promise, if you stay, you are going to love the book, until this isn't your genre. ~~~~~~ Follow me on my social media. Facebook - Author Angelina Bhardawaj Instagram - @angelinabhardawaj

AngelinaBhardawaj · Fantasy
4.8
700 Chs