webnovel
Zavia_6318
Zavia_6318Lv41yr
2023-09-11 08:24

your putting too much effort in what the characters are saying mc is a little stupid and naive and thinks too much less talking more action he shouldn't try to prove himself to people who don't care it's and emotionally unstable i cringe when i read his declaration it's OKay keep it up your doing great 💯 just no more cringe stuff like screaming or shouting what on his mind or running off into the distant like a little girl with a fragile heart

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Other Reviews
JustJUST
JustJUSTLv1

FINAL REVIEW (the one from last time) Gonna leave a review every few chapters i go in (ik its weird but thats how i do things deal with that and who knows it might draw ppl cuz its good at the beginning and not some author growing with work bs) so from the first ten the descriptions are on point! you put so much passion into your work and story line as well i fan tell just from reading, the way you add color to your words is stunning, dialouge can be stiff sometimes but nothing unreadable or cringe.I can see zeus being a great character one of my favs so far that comes in clutch at some point reminds me of one of sung jin woo's shadows in solo leveling.the way you describe a speedsters at the beginning was also well done! not just their personality is fast cuz they're obsessed with speed but its a thing they cant help and have to work around.the slow decent of the mc was very well described though the caps are not really necessary? i get that its a stylistic choice but at least use an exclamation mark lol with the periods it looks weird. now for the best part.THANK YOU! for not letting the system just appear right away or out of no where without even a hint as to where it came from! that was a breath of fresh air! You have no idea! the part with the colors flashing before his eyes as he entered that new plain to meet zeus was perfectly excuted not jumbled up or anything i love it absolutely 😩 cheifs kiss and THANK YOU! for not allowing the mc to be cracked right off the bat after getting this system and he has to learn it and grow with it its not funny how excited i was over something SO SMALL.I can just tell this is gonna be a really well executed story with great plot and world building with so much more to bring into the fray with so many new and interesting characters, one thing to note is some grammatical errors, not a lot but a few, periods where exclaimations should be vice versa.Along with the signs being out of the lines but other than that it is all good im sure you fix that over time and ill just let you cook! keep it up author! this book is gonna be number one i can feel it!! (NOW!) now, after seeing what webnovel had to offer and after watching the growth of our protagonist over the course of 30+ chapters, i've got to say this is one of the best if not the best on going systems to date, starts off with a rocky start both Mc and writing wise only for the writing style and the author to grow with the mc. An enchanting feeling that will leaving you needing more no matter what, the foreshadowing of events, the actual struggles of the mc, the powers of the system, the sidecharacters, the well written women, the representation all respectful and well done, wrapped in a narrative all can enjoy, a story promised to never die, a story that keeps on giving no matter what, all the author ask is your time and attention and he will deliver the good stuff you expected and wanted from a system. The promise of different world, different races, different ideals, the idea of hunters(bounty hunters cant remember) their society, the antagonist, the protagonist, all feel three-dimensional and real, the power of the system having a backstory the thought of the mc's father leaving something behind for his son. More than the talent for making stuff, more than his crippling smoking addiction, it's something that caused the story to move forward, something that will keep the story moving. The story have so much promise, and from what I saw, and the sneak peak of what the privileged section have to offer i'd say it knows what you want and gives you what you want, and I highly recommend it! This novel shall surely be a staple some day, so come read it while it's fresh, while it's new, so you can be the one that say you've been here since the beginning! 5/5!

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