Review Detail of Coyle in Conqueror of Magic

I think this story can be something great, however, there is a big problem in this tale. The author puts too many unnecessary descriptions and info dumps. (Ex: Chapter 1) we don't need to know all of that right at the start. Also, the writing style isn't very appealing to me (maybe because it shows the emotions and motives of everyone, which seems great in theory but isn't at all. There is no mystery.) That being said, the story seems to be progressing rather well and I'm sure that with time, the 'problems' I pointed out in this review will change. Please continue with the great work, author!!