AnotherAtlasLv21yr

2023-01-26 05:19

Here's some criticism: 1 You have giant walls of text littering your novel. You should separate them into smaller ones. 2 You often forget to capitalize the first letters of sentences. 3 The main character's (mc) backstory is unrealistic, as in it's unnatural to become completely useless just because your mother died. People don't suddenly lose any plans they had and just turn into vegetables as soon as something bad happens. 4 The mc always talking, panicking, screaming, etc etc is annoying. People have a thing called 'thoughts' or 'inner thoughts'. They don't keep saying everything they're thinking of or feeling out loud. 5 The mc suddenly turning brave and facing a giant acid-slinging python makes no sense. We already established he was pretty useless and didn't do much in his previous life, and no trashy degrees can explain him being a genius at fighting. 6 He says he'll be having snake sushi later, but he doesn't know how to make a fire, as far as we know. There's also no seaweed or kelp or anything nearby, he is in a forest right now. Biggest story problem is that everything is thrown out extremely quickly, without even surface level logic explaining it. Biggest character problem is that it's inconsistent and the backstory doesn't make sense if you take a second glance at it. Biggest writing problem is the fat paragraphs.

Supreme Saiyan God

David_555

Not enough ratings

45 Chs