Quite the decent fanfic, not many FL cote fanfics so it makes for killing some time. Grammar is good by standards of this app, story has its own sense of direction and development. Updating stability is what it is. The biggest and perhaps only issues that occur are with the mc. You gotta remember author-san, when writing a ‘smart’ character you need to focus on showing rather then telling. In my opinion, the mc is praised a bit too much and it’s almost like she’s aware of it, because throughout the fic her attitude is in general like ‘life is easy and I’m running circles around everyone without even trying’. I’m not saying the make her a female kiyotaka who’s reserved about her abilities, just tone it down a bit and you’ll have a interesting mc instead of a Mary Sue.
Liked it!
LIKE
i see, yeah my life is pretty busy and has been since starting college so update stability is very hard compared to when i 1st started it. ill keep what u said in mind. i was going for an mc who acts smug 24/7 but obviously with a few flaws in her thinking and has weak moments but if it's coming off a bit mary sue ish then maybe ur right. thanks for the review and constructive criticism, I appreciate it very much!
