I know the grammer needs work but this is my first project, plz go little easy on me, but i always welcome constructive criticism. i m trying to better my writing so you all can enjoy this story, like i said in the Synopsis this is going to be a slow burn story, mc will get weak to strong slowly.
Liked by 28 people
LIKEOk. you should stop with the training arc it realy boring to lisean him always training and searisly stop that. And you should more consintrade on his druid. Because druid main weapons are spells, staff and transformation. And him being a knight is not optimal at all it can be usefuel to know how to defent against it and thats it. Also even dumb people would know that he don't need to bring advenct technology but you can bring or find seeds that you can use to farm. Like Potatos can be harvested in cold winters. Or make a cement. Better yet a salt farm using Salted ocean water. Or he can go in forest to look for charcol it better then using wood. And he is located in mounten region so there is 99% chanse there is jade in rocks. When he learn blacksmithing he can think out how to make damascus steel you can make crossbow even. He can't be that stupid. And consintrade on druid class not a fighter class it feels like you turning him in battle junkie. He also will need gold so better be smart also. Almost forgot he can make basic paper to.
Aegon had two, so it is acceptable to have two; that is why. There is not going to be a harem in this fan fic. I have at least five other GOT fan-fic ideas, and when I start them, I might add a harem in the next one. But no harem in this one.
That sucks, the story already sounded boring to begin with
I just dont get why authors get so hung up having tiny harems. Like does it really matter whether it’ 2 or 4? Either way it’ not 1 so it’s not a single love. Also I said it sounded boring mostly cause I read that you made a training arc way too long. Also I dont like the whole giving up memories. To me just sounds like the Mc will be stupid and it’ just and excuse for you to hide behind for any future plot holes or stupid decisions by saying “well the Mc doesn’t kno anything, hes no better than a newborn so don’t expect anything better from him”.
Since this is a GOT ff, just wanting to check, will the marriages be political ones and if yes, will they develop in actual romantic affection between MC and LI(s)?
I am thinking about political marriage too, as for the other people with druid powers it is too much of a spoiler. "who knows?" is all I can say :D
Yes, the first 40 chapters are needlessly slow. Because this is my first writing experience, I couldn't pace the story at the start. That is why I am going to rewrite that part in the summer and going to turn those 40 chapters into 20 chapters. Excluding the first 40 chapters I think the pace is decent after chapter 50.
I love the fact that there will only be one or two. I hate pokemon harems with endless women, that both author and readers forget. My favorites would be Dacey Mormont as the main wife/general/fighter and Missandei as the second wife/diplomat/spymaster. Marwyn and Qyburn as maesters, Jon as the right hand and castellan/master-at-arms. Do not send him to the Wall, please.
Love your story so far. The sudden apperance of godlike entities kind of turned me off, but i'm going to wait and see where you go with them before further comments. Keep up the good work my dude!