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Arunnair
ArunnairLv141yr
2023-01-25 23:54

its good so far, need to introduce some stronger, anti hero villian type characters. which coukd challenge and may give motivation to mc to do better. for an mc to grow strong crises are needed.

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Stupid_brain
Stupid_brainLv4
BishopsNemesis
BishopsNemesisLv1

In the year 2050, a massive spaceship appears above Earth, causing panic among the governments of the world. A humanoid alien emerges from the ship and introduces himself as the ancestor of humanity, claiming that his species distributed their life code to various universes and galaxies in an effort to recover their numbers after a war. The alien goes on to reveal that nuclear energy will be removed from Earth and replaced with a new form of energy called mana, which has multiple uses. He also announces the installation of a dimensional dungeon system to challenge humanity and help them become stronger. While the concept of an ancestor alien visiting Earth and introducing a new form of energy is certainly interesting, the execution of this idea could be improved upon. For example, it is not entirely clear how the alien's announcement of the removal of nuclear energy is received by the various governments of the world. Additionally, the explanation for the existence of humanity and their connection to the ancestor alien species could be fleshed out more. While it is mentioned that the lack of mana on Earth has made humanity weak, it would be helpful to have a more detailed explanation of how this has occurred and how the introduction of mana will change things. Additionally, the concept of a dimensional dungeon system to challenge humanity is intriguing, but it is not entirely clear how this system will work or what its purpose is. More information on the specific trials and challenges that humanity will face, as well as the rewards that can be earned by completing them, would be helpful in fully understanding this aspect of the story. The character of the ancestor alien is also somewhat lacking in depth. While his physical appearance and the fact that he can communicate telepathically with humanity are certainly interesting, there is not much else known about him. A more detailed background and personality for this character would add depth to the story and make him a more fully realized character. Overall, while the world building in this story has potential, it could be improved upon with more detailed explanations and fleshed out characters. However, the concept of an ancestor alien introducing a new form of energy and a dimensional dungeon system to challenge humanity is certainly an interesting one and has the potential to be developed into a compelling story.

J_M_3688
J_M_3688Lv3
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