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PicatrixPuff
PicatrixPuffLv12yr
2022-12-24 19:26

This is my honest review to the book. In my opinion the first chapter lacked of emotion... Your descriptions are on point and the balance is there, but the way characters react and the body language is not there. Focus a bit more on how they are feeling and why. Moving forward to the next chapters I saw a slight improvement in thatt direction, yet not much. The plot itself is really inspiring, your writing style is on point except the things I just mentioned. The action is slowly developing which is a plus for the people who rather would take the time to enjoy a good book. I would like to see a bit of challenges for the characters in order for you to build up their persona. They don't have to succeed every time. Show the struggle and how they evolve. People would love to see that a bit more often. You are a good writer and I can feel you really put a lot of effort into your book. I am waiting for a new chapter to see your improvement. Lots of love and hugs ~ Picatrixpuff

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Junethephatcat
JunethephatcatAuthor

Thank you for an honest and detailed review. I will try my best, not only to improve the afore mentioned issues in the next chapters, but to edit the old ones aswell . Every review is very valuable to my writing, do not hesitate to inform me of anymore issues you find.

Other Reviews
BishopsNemesis
BishopsNemesisLv1

Initial thought: The writing quality appears to be solid, with clear and descriptive language that effectively conveys the events and emotions of the story. The story development thus far has introduced several interesting concepts, such as the concept of Aeter and Aeter beast companions, as well as the diverse magical races and continents of the world of Eos. The character design for the main character, Elias, seems well-rounded and his interactions with his family and Aeter beast companions are engaging and provide insight into his personality. The world background provided in these chapters is intriguing, with the introduction of different magical races and the concept of Aeter, but there is not yet enough information to fully evaluate the depth and complexity of the world-building. Overall, the first five chapters show promise and have left me interested in learning more about the story and world of this novel. Writing Quality: 4 Overall, the writing quality in this novel is good. The descriptions are detailed and vivid, and the dialogue between the characters is natural and flows well. There are a few instances where the writing feels a bit clunky or awkward, such as when Sophia is explaining the concept of Aeter companions to Elias. However, these instances are few and far between, and overall the writing is strong. Story Development: 4 (Went from 3 to 4 since I have wrote this review based on only 5 chapters.) While the story has potential, it feels like it is just starting to get going in these five chapters. The plot is introduced in a somewhat confusing way, with the main character seemingly remembering his past life and then using magic in an unexpected way. It's not entirely clear what the main conflict or goal of the story will be, though hints are given about the main character's parents being in danger. The pacing is also a bit slow, with much of the first few chapters devoted to world-building and character development. Character Design: 4 The characters in this novel are well-developed and have distinct personalities. Elias is a curious and mature child, Sophia is a strict yet caring grandmother, and Isaac is a boisterous and affectionate father. Aurora, the mother, is a bit more mysterious and seems to be hiding something from Elias. The Aeter beasts, Kyra and Otso, are also well-developed and have distinct personalities. Kyra is gentle and nurturing, while Otso is boisterous and playful. World Background: 5 The world-building in this novel is excellent. The continent of Acacia and its diverse races are described in great detail, and the concept of Aeter beasts and their role in society is explained clearly. The different magic elements and their applications are also well-explained, and the history of the world is hinted at through references to Gaia and Typhon. Overall, the world of Eos feels fully-realized and immersive.

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