webnovel
Ethernal7
Ethernal7Lv42yr
2022-12-14 13:01

Things i would like the author to change/fix: A lot of things have no descriptions, or very vague ones. Even characters only have their descriptions brought up once, when some details should be repeated. The dialog doesn't play a big role, but it's poorly used. The POV and settings change rapidly with little indication of the change. This destroys emission, and makes the novel harder to understand. Haven't any world building yet, though there was a vague introduction to it. We're only five chapters in, so that's pretty good. No need to rush things. The author seems to update at a stable rate. Overall, the work has a lot of potential. The first paragraph shows great descriptions, and is a sign of how great this could be. If the author took the time to paint a full scene, and fixed the issues I mentioned above, this could truly be something special. To the author: Please consider my criticisms seriously. If you don't lose passion, you will make an amazing story, I'm sure of it. I believe that.

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Replies5
Junethephatcat
JunethephatcatAuthor

Ethernal7, I would like to thank you for your constructive criticism, and encouragement. I read your review and comments, and appreciate you for taking the time to point out the errors you found in my novel. After much reviewing and looking over the novel from a reader's point of view, I have come to the conclusion that adhering to your advice would make the readers experience much more enjoyable. I thank you again, and ask you to keep up with this novel and offer any advice or criticism you deem necessary, for you seem very experienced in this particular field. Additionally, If you have any friends or acquaintances who might offer advice of similar value, please send them my way. best regards, Junethephatcat.

RainbowBeheader
RainbowBeheaderLv13

harem or singlefemalelead?

Junethephatcat:Ethernal7, I would like to thank you for your constructive criticism, and encouragement. I read your review and comments, and appreciate you for taking the time to point out the errors you found in my novel. After much reviewing and looking over the novel from a reader's point of view, I have come to the conclusion that adhering to your advice would make the readers experience much more enjoyable. I thank you again, and ask you to keep up with this novel and offer any advice or criticism you deem necessary, for you seem very experienced in this particular field. Additionally, If you have any friends or acquaintances who might offer advice of similar value, please send them my way. best regards, Junethephatcat.
Junethephatcat
JunethephatcatAuthor

single

RainbowBeheader:harem or singlefemalelead?
RainbowBeheader
RainbowBeheaderLv13

good

Junethephatcat:single
Junethephatcat
JunethephatcatAuthor

sorry for replying so dryly earlier. I myself am not quite a fan of the multiple female leads. happy reading my friend. If you could take the time to drop a comment or a review that would be awesome!!

RainbowBeheader:good
Other Reviews
BishopsNemesis
BishopsNemesisLv1

Initial thought: The writing quality appears to be solid, with clear and descriptive language that effectively conveys the events and emotions of the story. The story development thus far has introduced several interesting concepts, such as the concept of Aeter and Aeter beast companions, as well as the diverse magical races and continents of the world of Eos. The character design for the main character, Elias, seems well-rounded and his interactions with his family and Aeter beast companions are engaging and provide insight into his personality. The world background provided in these chapters is intriguing, with the introduction of different magical races and the concept of Aeter, but there is not yet enough information to fully evaluate the depth and complexity of the world-building. Overall, the first five chapters show promise and have left me interested in learning more about the story and world of this novel. Writing Quality: 4 Overall, the writing quality in this novel is good. The descriptions are detailed and vivid, and the dialogue between the characters is natural and flows well. There are a few instances where the writing feels a bit clunky or awkward, such as when Sophia is explaining the concept of Aeter companions to Elias. However, these instances are few and far between, and overall the writing is strong. Story Development: 4 (Went from 3 to 4 since I have wrote this review based on only 5 chapters.) While the story has potential, it feels like it is just starting to get going in these five chapters. The plot is introduced in a somewhat confusing way, with the main character seemingly remembering his past life and then using magic in an unexpected way. It's not entirely clear what the main conflict or goal of the story will be, though hints are given about the main character's parents being in danger. The pacing is also a bit slow, with much of the first few chapters devoted to world-building and character development. Character Design: 4 The characters in this novel are well-developed and have distinct personalities. Elias is a curious and mature child, Sophia is a strict yet caring grandmother, and Isaac is a boisterous and affectionate father. Aurora, the mother, is a bit more mysterious and seems to be hiding something from Elias. The Aeter beasts, Kyra and Otso, are also well-developed and have distinct personalities. Kyra is gentle and nurturing, while Otso is boisterous and playful. World Background: 5 The world-building in this novel is excellent. The continent of Acacia and its diverse races are described in great detail, and the concept of Aeter beasts and their role in society is explained clearly. The different magic elements and their applications are also well-explained, and the history of the world is hinted at through references to Gaia and Typhon. Overall, the world of Eos feels fully-realized and immersive.

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