Things i would like the author to change/fix: A lot of things have no descriptions, or very vague ones. Even characters only have their descriptions brought up once, when some details should be repeated. The dialog doesn't play a big role, but it's poorly used. The POV and settings change rapidly with little indication of the change. This destroys emission, and makes the novel harder to understand. Haven't any world building yet, though there was a vague introduction to it. We're only five chapters in, so that's pretty good. No need to rush things. The author seems to update at a stable rate. Overall, the work has a lot of potential. The first paragraph shows great descriptions, and is a sign of how great this could be. If the author took the time to paint a full scene, and fixed the issues I mentioned above, this could truly be something special. To the author: Please consider my criticisms seriously. If you don't lose passion, you will make an amazing story, I'm sure of it. I believe that.
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LIKEEthernal7, I would like to thank you for your constructive criticism, and encouragement. I read your review and comments, and appreciate you for taking the time to point out the errors you found in my novel. After much reviewing and looking over the novel from a reader's point of view, I have come to the conclusion that adhering to your advice would make the readers experience much more enjoyable. I thank you again, and ask you to keep up with this novel and offer any advice or criticism you deem necessary, for you seem very experienced in this particular field. Additionally, If you have any friends or acquaintances who might offer advice of similar value, please send them my way. best regards, Junethephatcat.
harem or singlefemalelead?
Junethephatcat:Ethernal7, I would like to thank you for your constructive criticism, and encouragement. I read your review and comments, and appreciate you for taking the time to point out the errors you found in my novel. After much reviewing and looking over the novel from a reader's point of view, I have come to the conclusion that adhering to your advice would make the readers experience much more enjoyable. I thank you again, and ask you to keep up with this novel and offer any advice or criticism you deem necessary, for you seem very experienced in this particular field. Additionally, If you have any friends or acquaintances who might offer advice of similar value, please send them my way. best regards, Junethephatcat.