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Mr_Babbles
Mr_BabblesLv151yr
2023-03-12 20:01

I've only read 3 chapters, but that's all I needed to read for me to see that this is not for me cons: 1. author tells characters personalities but doesn't show them, saying what a character is like through narration is the worst introduction to characters ever, author literally skips over a friendship building carriage ride and calls them friends through narration.... 2. mc is a reincarnated individual and the only reason author chose that is because intelligence means you'll have a stronger power or something along those lines, it just feels like useless knowledge 3. mc is bland as all get out so far, I haven't seen any personality 4. dialogue is kinda not good, right when getting his powers people are like "wow lordship powers are strong even with the weakest monster" and immediately retcons that and start trashing slimes, even further if slimes were found to be trash, why was mc so confident in making slimes super strong, why does he believe slimes could amount to anything at all, kinda stupid 5. haven't felt any sort of world building besides "this is forger village", that's it PRO'S: 1.good grammar, haven't found any errors in his writing itself which is phenomenal

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Reawakening
ReawakeningAuthor

Ty for the review. I understand your complaints in character introduction. Both the later chapters of The Slime Sovereign and the chapters of my upcoming book, Rise of the Chaotic God, have thoroughly improved in this area. I skipped the carriage ride at the time bc I found it to not be worth a chapter. I wasn't and still am not that great of a writer, so I understand if you find my decisions for the story to be incorrect. His reincarnation actually has a lot to do with how he develops his kingdom, but I do understand that I didn't make that very clear. It wasn't retconned, just that no one expected slimes to be his power. Exceptions to ever rule, and they believed a slime lord-type to be that exception. My intent wasn't for him to seem confident, but to express his copium through dialogue. I guess I failed? Maybe I'll give that bit a rewrite. The world building comes over time. I limit its scope to the areas that Alaric has influence in. Maybe that wasn't a good decision? I'd love if you could explain a better way for me to world build without info-dump.

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