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WriterTheos
WriterTheosLv142yr
2022-12-03 23:19

Overall a good chapter. There were a good amount of mistakes however, and I hope you take my criticism as advice rather than insult. Grammer and punctuation as a whole could be improved. The entire premise of the first part of the chapter was quite entertaining, although written in a confusing manner. However, the sudden switch to Tyler made little sense, still, it was good. Although the gym rocks, I feel like the entire rest of the chapter shouldn't have revolved around it. The world got into the tower just randomly at the end, when I feel like that could have been the main character of the chapter instead of just the gym. Overall tho, good chap!

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OnlySupremeOne
OnlySupremeOneAuthor

Thanks senior!

OnlySupremeOne
OnlySupremeOneAuthor

I will improve myself through your comment!

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