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Malthaael
MalthaaelLv137mth
2024-08-31 15:08

plot is a mess ...... . .........................

ASOIAF: Dimensional Chat Group

Servant_Ambrosius
4.0
78 Chs

Liked by 6 people

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Other Reviews
toshisero
toshiseroLv4

it was good when he was in planetos but it went s#it afterwards

1yr

Surge911
Surge911Lv14

Liking where this story is going so far, and I like that whilst you may have changed his upbringing he is still identifiable Jon snow but also a whole new character in itself. I hope his emotions aren’t stunted with him being inserted and you keep with the flow of how he is as a character.

2yr
The_WheelOfFortune
The_WheelOfFortuneLv4

The fix is very brain dead in terms of plot and the writing quality is decent

7mth
MyEx
MyExLv3

It's good, but to slow man, and you added the members from fiction that I don't know at all, and you decided to bring the targaryen to the story making it to complicated, I'll wait for DCG stuff but in the end it's nothing, chp 24

1yr
Pocket_AI
Pocket_AILv2

Story is just a mess, consistency is very much needed. Also - your 'Ultimate' tickets are borderline dogsh**, rename them or say that mc had a very bad luck.

17d
Solomonsquill
SolomonsquillLv4

I am enjoying a lot this story, the characters are realistic, the story is really interesting, and I am enjoying a lot the plot in the GOT. Overall a great read so far, still in chapter 24. Now I will tell you a couple of things that irked me a little and that could make this story even better if done right. First of all, the first chapters are really hard and I dislike that you just casually say the lore of the Mc. I would have loved to have seen pieces of his life little by little and to build his character through a few chapters at the very beginning or even make a prologue of his life. Lastly, the chapter that I am reading currently is a full block of text instead of being divided by paragraphs and it makes the really interesting content lose value due to how hard it is to the eyes. Anyways take this as constructive criticism, I am really enjoying your story and I wish you keep uploading and maintaining the quality. Many thanks author for all your work, hope you have a nice day.

9mth
dark_knight01
dark_knight01Lv4

love the main character and story development . The only flaw is the update speed otherwise it's a good read

1yr
Daoist4g4Z2O
Daoist4g4Z2OLv4

I like 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 ###################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################

2yr
Daoist3FFpqx
Daoist3FFpqxLv4

ZZZ……………………………………………………………………………………………..

7mth
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