Review Detail of Sabyasachi93 in Transmigrated Into Jihan:Path of The Supreme Emperor

Can you tell me where I am going wrong with my grammar

I'll give it a quick read and tell you.

The punctuation. That's most likely the errors in your grammar. You need some more commas and whatnot in your sentence, especially with character dialogue... And I would suggest adding quotations when a character is speaking. "Such as this. This would be character dialogue. Without the quotations, or any commas for that matter, it makes it difficult or annoying to read. Even my own grammar isn't perfect, but it is still eligible with punctuation."