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Nobius
NobiusLv12yr
2022-09-23 21:13

Your story intrigued me, it has a good beginning, the hero may seem naive at first, but soon he will know pain and despair, turning into someone more mature (I hope not into the lord of the edge), and also, although there is not much plot yet, and it is not too complicated, it catches, and it is easy to read, So I'm staying.

Liked by 14 people

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Replies12
Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

Thank you for your honest review and I'll do my best to not make you regret your decision.[img=recommend]

Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

I honestly hated the prologue, the MC honestly i hated the first 16 chapters in general. I havent even started 17 cause i dont even know if i want to read on.

Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

haha... I wish you would.

Crimson_King:I honestly hated the prologue, the MC honestly i hated the first 16 chapters in general. I havent even started 17 cause i dont even know if i want to read on.
Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

haha... I wish you would.

Crimson_King:I honestly hated the prologue, the MC honestly i hated the first 16 chapters in general. I havent even started 17 cause i dont even know if i want to read on.
Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

Ill probably get back to it at some point. The MC is just unlikable for me. The prologue was also bad and went on for too long. Even the first few bleach chapters dont seem interesting. Especially cause i read the chapter as saying the MC split his soul and sent it to the Bleach world to play Hollow which i hate the idea. I hate split soul tropes. I could have read it wrong though.

Sphire1707:haha... I wish you would.
Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

well... I can spoil it by tell in you that ended with them becoming one again after a few chapters and then it get's pretty spicy from then on. still wish you'd read it...

Crimson_King:Ill probably get back to it at some point. The MC is just unlikable for me. The prologue was also bad and went on for too long. Even the first few bleach chapters dont seem interesting. Especially cause i read the chapter as saying the MC split his soul and sent it to the Bleach world to play Hollow which i hate the idea. I hate split soul tropes. I could have read it wrong though.
Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

So he really split his soul? Thats sucks. I dont trust your “a few chapters” a few for me would be less then five but usually when authors say a few they mean a whole Arc or Volume. If he merges back together in 5 or less chapters ill pick it back up immediately. If not I’ll wait till i get the motivation to put my self through the hassle again.

Sphire1707:well... I can spoil it by tell in you that ended with them becoming one again after a few chapters and then it get's pretty spicy from then on. still wish you'd read it...
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Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

Welp... I hope you get the motivation back pretty soon as it's about 18 chapters.

Crimson_King:So he really split his soul? Thats sucks. I dont trust your “a few chapters” a few for me would be less then five but usually when authors say a few they mean a whole Arc or Volume. If he merges back together in 5 or less chapters ill pick it back up immediately. If not I’ll wait till i get the motivation to put my self through the hassle again.
Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

Hm thats too long. Im somewhere in between now. So does his soul get back together at chapter 34? Whats the ehole point of breaking it off in the first place?

Sphire1707:Welp... I hope you get the motivation back pretty soon as it's about 18 chapters.
Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

you forgot that the accumulated pain of the 5000 years of torture made him almost immobile... and him exploding his life energy to escape partly damaged his soul... so he's using the clone to power up his soul so he can do the reincarnation to repair himself. Like I already said, I was still new to this writing thing... I still am but i made the mistake of over elongating the back story then. I learned from that mistake and I do my best to write better now and learn more to improve my writing skills

Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

Well hopefully if yoy ever make a nee fanfic we never go through such a long intro again. 3 chapters is more than enough

Sphire1707:you forgot that the accumulated pain of the 5000 years of torture made him almost immobile... and him exploding his life energy to escape partly damaged his soul... so he's using the clone to power up his soul so he can do the reincarnation to repair himself. Like I already said, I was still new to this writing thing... I still am but i made the mistake of over elongating the back story then. I learned from that mistake and I do my best to write better now and learn more to improve my writing skills
Leon_Luis_
Leon_Luis_Lv4

Just add Harem or no harem tag

Sphire1707:you forgot that the accumulated pain of the 5000 years of torture made him almost immobile... and him exploding his life energy to escape partly damaged his soul... so he's using the clone to power up his soul so he can do the reincarnation to repair himself. Like I already said, I was still new to this writing thing... I still am but i made the mistake of over elongating the back story then. I learned from that mistake and I do my best to write better now and learn more to improve my writing skills
Other Reviews
Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author

There is a major problem I have with some readers. They didn't even read past the first 10 chapters and you're already complaining about how it's not even a bleach fan fic. In the end your review or comment is just based off the slow first 10 chapters and very biased instead of the whole story. It's like you telling me that you think pineapple is a terrible fruit after only eating the outside covering. People just leaving hate comments and reviews without reading the whole book is very annoying, I'm not being paid to write and yes this is my first book so it obviously can't be on the same level as a lot of others, but I take out of the little time I have to write a fan fiction and people don't even finish reading before leaving hate comments and reviews after only the slow parts at the beginning. This is very disheartening as a lot of good books are dropped because of hateful readers. As a new writer, I have obviously been paying attention to your comments, so I can better my writing skills, but a lot of people are not willing to read past the first few chapters where I didn't know much and wrote how I knew to. Please do continue to make comments to help me better my writing skills but, please do not leave a review without at least reading to the latest chapter available. I'd rather have no ratings than to see reviews that are obviously not true about my story and NO, I will not delete the bad reviews. You're welcome to make a more correct review after actually reading my book and not just skimming through it. Thank you for listening to my ranting.

Sphire1707
Sphire1707Author
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