webnovel
hidingpanduh
hidingpanduhLv121yr
2023-03-16 11:28

From the beginning we get a good idea of what’s to come in terms of character and the descriptive quality of the story. The images described are shocking in the gruesome detail and it feels like I’m able to imagine everything in HD. The first chapter is the best so far, because it feels the most focused. The focus on the hook is great because it makes the reader want to be invested, and I love the first few paragraphs. The meeting of Astrid and Reimi is intriguing and makes me wonder why suddenly people are interested in Reimi when it seems they avoided Reimi before. I like the contrast between Astrid and Reimi, like night and day. Astrid is a bright sunny star and Reimi is a dark mysterious moon. I also think it’s interesting that Reimi doesn’t even speak until chapter four! Some things that can be improved include having a better balance between action scenes and descriptive paragraphs. I think chapter two is so action-packed, it seems there’s an imbalance between descriptions of setting and the action. A suggestion when going back to edit is to balance the action scenes by adding some more descriptive elements otherwise it feels like BAM BAM BAM one big action or fight after the other. Another point is in terms of plot, I don’t see a clear desire or direction. There is definitely a lot of conflict and elements in the story that could add to the direction! But I wonder for the character development, how will that work itself out? I like how there’s something like an alliance forming between Astrid and Reimi and the way Astrid protects Reimi is so sweet. I don’t think we need a full idea of the plot since that should unravel as the story goes on but it would be nice if during the story there’s some kind of desire of the character for Reimi especially I would love to see a stronger motivation (love/revenge/identity) though I think there is already a great base for a possible focus on Reimi’s identity. Overall it’s super enjoyable so far and I look forward to reading more!

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Other Reviews
NocturnOwl
NocturnOwlLv13

My readthrough of this story, was very enjoyable I haven't had to much experience in the Yuri genre but it's safe to say that the relationship written into this story is complex and very adorable. The dynamic and dichotomy between the two characters is very well depicted making the two female leads have a yin and Yang feel to them in how they balance each other out. Writing quality is very nice. Had a clear an easy time visualising the environment, characters and threats. High amounts of detail are given towards painting the overall picture of the story. Allowing the story to feel very life-like when delivering these descriptions for the reader. I really enjoyed the character design, the two female leads are so much fun to read through. Their conversational dynamics and the way their personalities bounce off each others quirks is so adorable. This is just the beginning of their budding relationship so I can't wait to see how they develop into a couple. The characters are also given clear mindsets for the reader to understand where the character is mentally and why they do said actions of behaviours. Updating stability is consistent, considering how meaty each chapter is. Lots of content per chapter allowing me to be perfectly fine with it coming out weekly just for the sheer amount written. World background is delivered very slowly to the reader, this allows for alot of mystery to sprout in the reader's mind over what the world setting is and how it became this way. There is already a level of depth in the world for the pieces that are revealed to the reader such as the angels and their culture. Don't want to spoil too much. Overall I was captivated throughout the whole story, making the time fly by in the process of reading through this. The characters feel real and so do their emotions. Im really excited to see how the relationships develop as well the world and which seeds will get developed first. Keep going strong Yeon your story is wonderful :D.

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